"Spiritual But Not Religious"

I look within myself for my spirituality and to answer the meaning of life. - Amy, college student interviewed for the book, Sex & the Soul by Donna Freitas

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! - David, Psalm 139:23, 24

I am reading the book, Sex & the Soul by Donna Freitas, who is the Assistant Professor of Religion at Boston University. Her book begins with the provocative "hooking up" culture that exists on most college campuses and the surprising development when her students decided to make a difference by taking a stand.

They admitted they didn't really enjoy the non-committal sex they had, but it was part of college life and they weren't sure how to change it. Freitas worked with them as they developed the idea for a one-issue, onetime student newspaper called Dateline SMC, focusing on sexuality on the campus. They began a conversation and finally discovered there were many others who were unhappy with the "hooking up" culture on campus.

What I find fascinating is a belief I've come across before from young people and some adults. Amy's quote is a good example of the type of mindset that often accompanies the description, "spiritual but not religious."

What does this mean? In Amy's world, it means she uses her own perception as a moral compass. There is no adherence to the Bible; instead, the Bible is used to confirm or validate her own feelings. It reminds me of how some people will decide on certain opinions and then scour the Bible for verses to justify them. Forget the fact that as Christians, we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, not by our own assessment of our situation but by a humble surrender to God and a conscientious decision to seek His will and not our own.

In fact, I think I'd like to make these verses the "mascot" verses for "Castitas."

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. - Romans 12:1,2

What does it mean to present our bodies as a living sacrifice? If you're a Christian, I think I'm safe in saying it doesn't mean deciding to have pre-marital sex because you think it's "your decision" and totally separate from your belief in God. I also think we are challenged to carefully look at the world and its patterns of behavior and compare it to how God wants us to live. And renewing our minds means there must be an opposing spirit that is trying to get us to not renew them - to accept status quos, lazy thought, and "going with the flow" because its easier. Remember - a river takes the path of least resistance and will often twist and turn. It is not the most efficient way for the water to reach its destination.

So it is with faith. Continue to take the path of least resistance and you will have stunted growth. Set your sights upon that which is more challenging or difficult and you will grow in your faith by leaps and bounds.

What was interesting about Amy's story is she admitted she kept a Bible in her room and would turn to it often for inspiration. She admitted to praying to God quite frequently, trusting He was ordering her life. But when it came to sex, suddenly God wasn't in the picture. When it came to allowing God into her house, everything was accessible to Him but the "sexuality room." That room belonged only to Amy and she obviously didn't want God to crash her party.

College students who want to pursue spirituality but not be seen as "religious" are all avoiding the same issue - an honest discussion about sex and how their religious beliefs affect it. Whenever I've come across someone who wanted a spiritual life but didn't want the "religious" label - it is 99.9% certain they want to be able to sleep with whomever they want with no guilt. They balk at the idea of absolute truth for in their mind - there are no absolutes. It is a life filled with the options of a cafeteria-style offering of religions. Like Marianne Williamson, creator of the New Age "A Course In Miracles," they cobble together the most palatable collections of belief and expect it to support them.

It's like taking some old pieces of wood, a little metal, some plastic, and trying to build a piece of scaffolding. It's not going to be strong enough to endure years of outdoor weather and use. Plus, many of the pieces won't even fit well together and end up coming apart after stress is applied. Such is the life of one who insists upon "being spiritual but not religious."

When you follow Jesus Christ, you are called to die to your own will. This means not only embracing beliefs that offend what is called "the flesh," but trusting that God knows what He's doing when He insists upon such obedience. Is it hard? Absolutely. But it is not impossible with the grace of God. I lived 17 years as a celibate before meeting my husband. Did I mope around, depressed that I was missing out on all the "fun" of non-committed sex? No, not by a long shot. I was involved with church activities that included great fellowship, friendship with lively brothers and sisters in Christ, and excellent mental stimulation through personal study.

Some college students make the mistake of enlarging their sexuality so that it orders their entire world. As Christians, we are challenged to live counter to the world, seeking the Kingdom of God and its righteousness first, not our own satisfaction. When we get our priorities straight as believers, it makes all the difference in our lives. Suddenly, we're on the other side of self-serving behaviors. We can see that focusing on self only made us feel emptier and more unsatisfied. When we focus on God, we are given so many blessings that we wonder what took us so long to relinquish control.

The world will always tell us we need to do things ourselves. Trusting in God for His wisdom is never easy, but we can take great comfort in knowing that Jesus Christ went before us, surrendering all to His heavenly Father and asking God to protect us from evil. Jesus prayed one of the most beautiful prayers for us in John 17 and one of the things He stated was we are not of this world.

If we are not of this world, then where should our allegiance be? To God alone. When it comes to following Jesus Christ, there is no way around it. God is to be obeyed even as His Son lived a perfect life in obedience to Him, even to the point of death.

And I think that is at the heart of what is scariest to those who are "spiritual but not religious." If they truly placed their entire trust in God, what would He ask of them? What would He command as "off-limits" in their life? Obedience to God will make the strongest self-willed man either quake in his boots or stand defiantly with an upraised fist, saying "No!"

But with submission comes an amazing peace that passes understanding. This is, sadly, what the "spiritual" are missing out on - and it is the prized quarry they chase. To their own detriment, their attempts to capture this elusive treasure falls short and causes great frustration.

In acceptance, lieth peace. (Amy Carmichael, Scottish Missionary to India)

Reclaiming the Sacred Body

As I continue to research topics regarding chastity and sexuality, I realize that our culture has truly profaned the sacred.

We have a weekly newspaper in town that features a social calendar. I used to suggest to the women attending my dating workshops to pick up a copy and scan the various groups and activities available. Joining new groups or trying a new activity can help a single person enlarge their social circle. While looking through one of these weekly publications, I noticed a sex column. I won't give the writer any added exposure by mentioning his name, but suffice it to say this column left nothing to the imagination. It was vulgar and raw, treating sex as nothing more important than choosing the menu for dinner.

The topics discussed were so explicit in nature that I was surprised to see it available in a free newspaper, which are quite plentiful in the bars and restaurants around town. I was disgusted by the content, and angry.

I was angry because I knew the type of belief system this column encouraged. Men and women both were treated as sex objects and sex was only seen as a means to an end, a brief satisfaction of bodily lusts while rating the sex partner in terms of how well they performed.

It is easy for me to focus on such craziness, but since returning to the Catholic church, I realize my response needs to change. Instead of changing other people, I need to change myself first. Sinners who have no understanding of their need for a Savior are going to behave like sinners. Sinners who understand that need are going to consistently progress toward holiness.

Our bodies are sacred. As St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I therefore take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two shall become one flesh."

But he who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Shun immorality. Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Cor. 6:15-20

For women, dressing modestly is a wonderful way to reclaim their bodies as being sacred. For singles, it is important to establish boundaries regarding the type of physical affection you will give. A single friend had a wonderful solution to her need for touch. She treated herself to professional massages at least once a month. I thought that was fantastic. We all need the human touch but if you're single, you many not get it as often as you'd like. Professional massages are a great way to not only improve your overall health, but it's a safe way to receive this human touch.

What did Israel and the church do with the sacred? It was covered, hidden, or elevated. It was given special honor. Reclaiming the sacred will not happen overnight, but there are steps we can take each day to reach our goal. it may include:

• Curtailing entertainment that profanes the sacred, such as R-rated movies, TV shows, books, magazines, and newspapers
  

• Carefully selecting friends who share your values
  

• Deleting off-color email jokes and asking the person sending them to not send those types of jokes anymore
  

• Walking away from a group who are sharing sexually-explicit jokes
  

• Meditating on the Bible
  

• Attending Mass faithfully
  

• Reciting the rosary

When we fill our minds with the things of God, we become more sensitive to sin and its consequences. I know that since I started to pray the rosary more often, I am much more conscientious of my actions throughout the day. Praying the rosary in the morning orients me in the right direction.

I also cannot speak highly enough of renting film classics if you want quality entertainment. I'm a big Frank Capra fan ("It's a Wonderful Life" is my ultimate favorite.) and any film that has Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy in it is sure to bring a laugh. There were so many great actors during "The Golden Age" of movies that you will have a difficult time choosing which one to watch first. It is immensely refreshing to watch a movie that doesn't automatically focus on the sexual antics of the characters.

Our bodies were created first for God. I pray that I would remember this and encourage others to do the same. When it is dark, focusing on the darkness won't bring about the light. May we all be lights to this darkened world.

More on Georgetown University and their LGBTQ Center

I was familiar with the letters "LGBT." (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, and Transgendered) But that "Q" was new to me. So I looked it up. I almost wish I didn't know.

"Q" stands for "queer and questioning." It is specifically aimed at teens who are starting to develop hormonally but wondering about their sexuality. (And who, I ask, created that "wonder" in the first place?) A book was published five years ago, GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens (Paperback). Amazon offers "sneak peeks" for many of their books so I decided to take a look. Here's a portion (emphasis mine):

"People who are questioning are uncertain of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Many teens are starting to be more comfortable identifying as questioning. (?) A lot of things are changing during adolescence, and deciding you are questioning takes the pressure off of immediately choosing a label like gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight."

Tell me, please. Why would a Catholic university host a group that encourages someone to question their sexuality?

Shiva Subbaraman, the first Director of Georgetown’s LGBTQ Resource Center, has an impressive record of implementing training programs for the diversified, sexually ambiguous crowd. (And by the way, do you notice how often homosexuality has changed its name? It's confusing. Some like to be called "queer." Some lesbians like to define themselves as "gay." I don't understand why some groups are called GLBT and others are LGBT. Strange.) But I recently responded to a comment on "Why Catholic Identity Is Important" that GU most likely didn't hire Subbaraman to talk students out of pursuing a homosexual lifestyle.

I cannot overemphasize how damaging the institution of such a center will be upon the lives of the students. It is one thing for a secular university to have such a program, but a Catholic university? What was Dr. Olson thinking?

In Part Three, Section Two, Article Six of the Catechism of the Catholic Church , it says (emphasis mine):

Chastity and homosexuality

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,¹⁴⁰ tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."¹⁴¹ They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

I'm not sure how much more clearer this could be.

Since I've been thinking about the beautiful Theology of the Body, by Pope John Paul II, I've begun to examine homosexuality in light of this teaching. The traditional Church, the Bible, and the Catechism all agree that acting upon homosexual tendencies is not God's plan or purpose for our bodies.

What is more, our bodies are, as Pope John Paul II said, a mystery. From the TOB:

Following the narrative of Genesis, we have seen that the "definitive" creation of man consists in the creation of the unity of two beings. Their unity denotes above all the identity of human nature; their duality, on the other hand, manifests what, on the basis of this identity, constitutes the masculinity and femininity of created man. (Man Becomes the Image of God by Communion of Persons)

There is such a mystery to the union of man and woman. There is no mystery to a union of man and man or woman and woman. The body is not an object of pleasure but a reflection of the divine relationship God has with man. God created man and woman to love one another. In that love is the pattern for the church. The masculine initiates, the feminine responds. There is the issue of headship and submission; sacrifice and worship. Marriage is a beautiful image of God's love for His church.

Will students at GU receive any instruction on the "Theology of the Body?" Highly doubtful. Instead, they will be welcomed to blindly follow their own lusts, soothed by the words of a lesbian who will assure them their same-sex attraction is just another way God created man and woman.

If that is the case, why is there an emphasis placed on the "questioning?" Why should the presumed outcome be an active homosexual or transgendered life? Why not instead encourage our Catholic students to understand that sexuality is not a "choice." That if born a man, you are a man for a reason. And if you have no sexual desire for women, could you be called to make God the entire passion for your life? Why are these "choices" not offered? (Note: I do not believe the best place for a man with homosexual tendencies to be a seminary. Why endure such temptation?)

The Catholic church has a mandate to love one another and help each person live a holy life. A holy life often requires self-denial and sacrifice, the elevation of God above man. Will Georgetown University change it's mind? Or will they continue to champion the politically-correct relativism of today?

I pray for a change in policy.