What I Love About Catholicism: Daily Mass #Catholic

I don't have the privilege of attending daily Mass, but have had the blessing of being able to attend a few Masses during the week. What I love about Catholicism, is that it is available. This really is a beautiful thing and a gracious gift of our heavenly Father.

I often think about the early Church, and how Christians had to meet in each other's homes because they were persecuted. They didn't have the freedom to walk down a street to the nearest temple and worship God and His Son, Jesus Christ, in the open.

We do.

Last week, I attended daily Mass twice. The first time was because I had read so much garbage about the evil in our world that I almost felt the worldly grime upon my soul. I prayed for God's mercy and thought, "I need to get to a Mass." Thank God (and I mean that literally), that almost around the corner and down the street from me was a parish that had an early morning Mass.

I joined the small group of about 18 other parishioners to take part of Mass. It was all so precious to me. I felt as though I had entered a safe harbor, a place where I could receive the peace and protection of God while I asked for strength for the day. Receiving the Holy Eucharist was exactly the medicine I needed.

Throughout the rest of the day, I felt buoyed by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. All this was imparted to me from a very abbreviated Mass that lasted under 30 minutes. The next day I attended again.

I'm not sure about anyone else, but our world is growing darker and to me, attending Mass is like a mini-retreat. It's the place where I get my head, heart, and spirit straightened out as I'm reminded of the truth. The world is spinning more and more out of control. We as Christians struggle to keep our lights shining. Sometimes it is very tempting to give up, to shrug our shoulders and say, "What's the use?"

And then we attend Mass, and are reminded of One Man, who sacrificed all for the glory of His Father. It looked like One Man could not do much and evil was all around Him. But He submitted to His Father's will, and ultimately, was victorious.

It is that victory, which was the shot heard 'round the spiritual world, that reminds me to never give up, to always believe, and to let God's truth permeate my soul.

He has won. He is winning. He will win again.

So How Is That Apostolic Visitation of Women Religious Going, Anyway? #Catholic

I haven't heard much about the results of the apostolic visitation of women but caught an article about it yesterday. (How Is It Going? From Catholic World Report)

There doesn't seem to be any clear results given, yet, but then again, the on-site visitation phase was just completed in December 2010.

The article, written by Ann Carey who is the author of Sisters in Crisis: The Tragic Unraveling of Women’s Religious Communities, shows that there is still distrust on the side of the women religious. I found the question of confidentiality particularly interesting.

Evidently, some of the women religious superiors were grilling the sisters after the visitation group had left. (emphasis mine):

Nevertheless, sisters from various orders report that their leadership approached the visitation with a fear that was fed in part by the LCWR and other outspoken women religious, as well as misinformation in the media. This fear, in turn, caused anxiety among many grassroots sisters. So, too, did pre-visitation “informational meetings” that seemed more like indoctrination sessions; some sisters say they felt intimidated by their leadership, who warned sisters not to answer certain questions from the visitors, not to say anything negative about the order, and not to tell anyone about the visitation, even as their leaders continued to disparage the visitation publicly.

Likewise, some orders who received on-site visits also scheduled post-visit meetings for sisters to report what they said and heard during their appointments with visitors and to discuss how they felt about the visitation experience. One sister told this writer that these post-visit meetings, which were announced before her order’s visit, made her feel that sisters’ conversations with the visitors would not really be confidential if sisters were expected to report on them to their superiors.

Sister Elizabeth confirmed that a number of sisters from various institutes throughout the US contacted her for advice about whether they were free to absent themselves from pre- and post-visitation meetings scheduled by superiors and presented as mandatory. She said she had explained to these sisters the basic information on privacy and non-manifestation of conscience and suggested that if sisters felt they might face intimidation for not participating in the meetings, then it might be better for them to attend and to speak if it seemed truly necessary. If they did so, she told sisters to inform the apostolic visitation office confidentially about what had actually transpired.

The privacy of sisters who wished to talk to a visitor also was problematic for some sisters. The visitation office tried to ensure confidentiality for sisters, and feedback from those experiencing a visit has been overwhelmingly positive. However, in some instances, sisters reported that the identity of some sisters requesting an interview with a visitor was inadvertently revealed to an order’s leadership. Additionally, the other confidential methods for speaking with a visitor—via telephone or webcam or at an off-site interview—were not feasible for some sisters, particularly the elderly in nursing care or retirement facilities. The visitation office did, however, encourage letters from sisters, and many sisters took advantage of that method when they wanted to be absolutely certain their identity would not be revealed to superiors.

That, is very troubling.

If there are issues that need to be addressed, then truth must be told. The only thing these superiors accomplished was to guarantee that they looked guilty by trying to squelch the voices of some of their fellow sisters.

I can only imagine the inner turmoil some of these sisters must have experienced. Could you imagine being a part of a community that was going in some wacky direction, but you had no one to turn to? And finally, when someone from the Vatican was listening, you're told to not say anything incriminating?

Seriously, it makes me feel as though some of those women religious are like battered women. I know that may seem harsh, but think of the controlling factors that go into an abusive relationship. I wouldn't doubt that some of those sisters felt similar emotions to a woman who wanted to escape an unhealthy relationship.

This is where the ugly side of women emerges. It is not what God intended for women, but certainly is the strategy of the enemy. Gossiping, slander, control, intimidation -- all of these have been used by then enemy to wreak havoc in the sisterhood of women.

Why would a superior need to know what was talked about confidentially with an apostolic visitor? To control the outcome.

Plain and simple. And unfortunate. Continue to keep this whole process in prayer. Pray that the apostolic team is given grace and wisdom. Pray for hardened hearts to soften. And pray that the truth is revealed and that the Balm of Gilead would heal all wounds.

Why I Discarded My Ordination as a Woman in the Non-Denominational Church (Part 3) #Catholic

(Continued from Part 2 here.)

I spent over almost two years as a church secretary. I was nearing graduation from the ministry school and praying for future direction. One day, the vice president of the ministry asked to meet with me. He offered me a position to serve as a pastor within the school and a few opportunities to teach. I was elated. Finally, I felt as though God had answered the desire of my heart to serve Him full-time in the ministry. Ironically, I never thought of being a church secretary as being in "full-time ministry" or when I was working in a secular job, as a place to serve God. I still had narrow definitions when it came to what "serving God" meant and had unknowingly assigned a scale of importance to each area.

The offer of this new position quickly made its rounds within the church and ministry. Many congratulated me and quite a few women fluttered around me to declare that finally, women were being taken "seriously" as an equal partner in the ministry. I held all of these expectations carefully in my heart. On one hand, I had yearned for years for this very moment -- to have the opportunity to pastor. On the other hand, I did not want to give in to what was called "The Jezebel Spirit," which was to be controlling and manipulative. I knew I had to have God's guidance and stepped up my requests for His wisdom.

There was a man who previously held the position I was inheriting. In fact, I learned that he had been "let go" because he simply didn't fit in with the ministry culture. If you've ever worked in a corporate environment that made you feel uncomfortable, there is a good chance you were incompatible with that company. The same can be said of ministries. There are some who fit and others who don't. Many times there are personality conflicts and as much as we'd like to believe that everyone gets along within a ministry, nothing could be further from the truth. I witnessed staff members getting fired or harassed until they quit. One poor man was fired and the senior administration insisted on giving him a "going away" party. His wife fumed on the couch as we waited for the catered lunch. Such treatment was not uncommon.

Back to the man who held this position before me. He was on the Leadership Team. This team consisted of the senior pastor and several associate pastors. None of them were women. When I was hired to fill this position, I expected to be added to the team. However, this did not happen. It was another opportunity for the enemy to twist the knife of rejection in me, assuring me that I wasn't worthy for such a place of honor. I believed these lies only in the most secret place of my heart. Instead, I tried to focus on God's plan for my life and His perfect timing in all things. If I was meant to be on the Leadership Team, I would be. All I needed to do was be patient and wait on God. He had brought me this far, I thought. Why not to the Leadership Team, too?

After two years, I was formally ordained within the church. It was presented as nothing more than "acknowledging what God was already doing within my life," but the women in the church and the women students of the school looked at it as a breakthrough for women. Afterward, I had an increase of women students who formed a consistent line to my office, seeking their day in "spiritual court."

One woman said with exasperation, "When is it going to be my turn? When am I going to be invited to speak at churches, conferences and retreats? I'm so tired of waiting!" I remember encouraging her to wait until God opened doors for her. If she became impatient and tried to force open the doors, then she'd never realize if it was God doing it or her own stubborn ways. She walked away still feeling frustrated.

Some of the woman wanted me to be their mouthpiece, appealing to the senior pastor and associates that for all their talk about recognizing women in the ministry, there was little evidence of it. I was placed in the delicate position of upholding my loyalty and trust in the ministry's leadership while diffusing the unrest of those who were unhappy. It didn't help when a trusted advisor whispered to me at one of the church services that she had watched me walk up the aisle and noticed some people's faces as they looked at me.

"You know what I saw? Jealousy and envy. Pray for protection. I'm already praying this for you." After she walked away, I couldn't help but think -- Jealous? If they only knew.

Within a few years, I started to feel like a young girl who had outgrown a party dress. The things I had thought were so important started to fade away. The more I saw of the ministry, the less I was convinced I was to be a part of it, at least within that particular ministry. Fr. Corapi once said that never had he encountered in the world the level of hatred he received within the Church. I have thought for quite awhile that the admonitions and exhortations in the Bible to love our enemies is not for loving those who are in the world, but for loving our enemies in the church.

I had plenty of opportunity to love and forgive during those years. Sometimes I was victorious with the grace of God. Other times I failed. But through it all, I learned some very important lessons. The most important one, was dying to self.

In 2000, I was starting to experience the early stages of burn-out. I wasn't sure what was next for me, but I suspected my time at the ministry school was coming to a close. It climaxed with a heartless experience with an associate pastor, who coldly told me that my recommendation for a book resource for the upcoming new class of students was not only unacceptable, but just wrong. I suppose it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. That was the moment I decided it was time to leave.

That experience was followed up by another associate pastor visiting me in my office, "warning" me that I didn't want to get on the "bad side" of the other pastor. I assured him I wanted nothing of the sort to happen and that I genuinely thought the book would be of great benefit to the students. He nodded and smiled. And then, as though offering a bribe of candy to a scolded child, said, "You know, there are plans being made to ask you to be a part of the Leadership Team."

And there it was. The one thing I had yearned for since I had first joined the school was being dangled in front of me like a big, juicy carrot. I would be the first woman formally accepted as part of the team. How amazing. The women would finally see that they were really being taken seriously. And... how suddenly irrelevant it all was. The fact of the matter was, I no longer cared about it, nor wanted it. I smiled at him and said something trivial. He ended his visit and I sat there, pondering the journey I had taken and how it led me to a very surprising conclusion.

Somehow, I knew that if I had become part of the Leadership Team, it wouldn't stop there. My desire would be for greater and greater platforms of recognition. I would seek to become a spiritual teacher to hundreds, then thousands, then perhaps tens of thousands. I could see myself saying that I wanted to make a difference, but such a desire is a two-edged sword. I remembered reading the biographies of famous men and women evangelists who traveled non-stop throughout the world, preaching the Gospel and healing the sick. Most of them died at an early age from sheer exhaustion.

Those who are called to ministry are called to a life of sacrifice. I never saw it more clearly than when I was involved in the school of ministry. Just before I reached the decision of leaving, I was starting to experience a little of that "rock star" phenomenon where people would seek me for prayer and words of encouragement. It can be very draining. It also can lead one to assume that people are coming to them for their own spiritual gifts and not give glory to God. Truly, we are channels of His grace. If there is any good that comes from us, it is only by His hand that it is given.

I left the school and moved back home at the end of 2000. I met my husband in 2001 and married him months later. I had no desire to return to ministry. In fact, I think it's safe to say I was burned-out so thoroughly that church attendance, which before had been vital to my life, was avoided. From 2001 - mid-2007, I stayed at home on most Sundays. I tried to visit several churches, but felt restless in each one. I tried visiting the non-denominational churches but had no interest in getting on that hectic roller-coaster ministry ride again.

After my mother passed away in 2007 -- astonishingly, I discovered I was able to sit through Mass and feel peace and restoration, not anxiety. It was a surprise that still fills me with joy even to this day. I know I've been abundantly blessed and God has extended an enormous amount of grace to me. Words will never be able to describe my gratitude.

To end this little story, I would like to return to the priesthood, and how some women feel as though they've been left out of such an influential position. I think many of us know that if women became priests, many would not be satisfied. Next would be the pursuit of becoming a bishop, then an archbishop, and then, a cardinal. Finally, we would witness the demand and pressure that the College of Cardinals would elect a woman as Pope. I pray we never see such a thing.

If women could take a peek within the life of a priest (or a bishop, archbishop, or cardinal), they would quickly see that it is not a life of glory. It is a life of long hours, constant demands, emotionally needy people grasping for you, angry people upset with you, worries and concerns that you may not be meeting the needs of your flock, hidden guilt that you're not doing enough, nights spent in prayer asking God for the grace to love the unlovable and forgive the cruel, carefully dancing in the political arena as some plot your downfall and others appear to be trusted friends while stabbing you in the back.

And the loneliness... Serving daily while not having a spouse at home who can encourage you or fix you a nice, hot meal. These are the number of sacrifices a priest makes and there are many more. But most priests will say they can't imagine it being any different. They couldn't imagine trying to be a spouse or being happy in a secular job. Praise be to God for calling these men into His service! There is sacrifice, yes, but there is also unspeakable joy in doing the will of our heavenly Father. This is the place we all must find, that place where we seek God's will in our lives. When we find it, we find peace.

So when I look at the women clamoring to be ordained as priests, I do not see women who are filled with peace. I see women who are caught up in what used to bind me -- the desire for recognition and validation. But even if they ever receive a "badge," it will never be enough. As long as we seek power and the admiration of man, we will always be unsatisfied. Only by giving up everything, including our own dreams, will we find His peace.

And sometimes, when you do get the dream, you just might find it isn't all that you'd thought it would be.

Why I Discarded My Ordination as a Woman in the Non-Denominational Church (Part 2) #Catholic

(Continued from Part 1 here.)

As one of the female students in my ministry class, I sought opportunities to minister to others and serve in the church. Our class also had the privilege of receiving ministry from well-known spiritual teachers and pastors. I would secretly be filled with happiness when one of them would give me a "word of knowledge" about my future ministry or tell me that I had strong spiritual gifts. Each time I would think that "someday," others would see this, too. Spiritual pride can creep upon us without a whisper. Oftentimes we believe we are seeking God's will. Instead, what we're often seeking is our own sense of importance. This was true for me.

I mentioned that these traveling teachers and pastors were seen as "spiritual rock stars." I wish I was kidding. Some would insist on being housed in a fine hotel. Others would treat our ministry staff as personal servants. I was starting to see the ugly side of ministry and was both shocked and disillusioned. Was this what I desired?

I will never forget a married couple who made their mark upon me with their considerate and kind ways. The ministry hosted several large conferences throughout the year. Those who were employed by the ministry basically worked their tails off to pull off a spectacular event. Much of this work included the "hospitality room" for the special speakers.

This area was usually a well-guarded room within a hotel where the speakers could rest and pray before speaking before the crowds. At one conference, it was an actual stand-alone cottage. My boss, the administrative pastor of the church, asked if I would volunteer to work within the cozy retreat to help prepare food and drink. But only on one condition.

"Mary Rose, you need to abide by this one rule. Do not talk to the speakers. If they ask you something, of course answer and make sure they have plenty of food and beverage. But you are not to ask them for anything, or talk to them, or ask for prayer." He solemnly stared at me to drive home the point.

My eyes grew large. "Of course! I'll do whatever is needed," I said as I smiled.

But inside I felt another sense of disappointment and confusion. Was this what Jesus had meant when He told His apostles to go and teach all nations to observe all He had taught them? Where was the love? The humility? Or was I being naive?

It was at the cottage when I came across the married couple; whose easy-going personalities were like a draught of clear, cool water on a hot summer's day. Not only did they talk to me, they asked me questions and treated me with kindness and respect. I quickly considered them friends, but still realized that I was "just a staff person" and certainly didn't equate myself with these globe-trotting ministers. But what astounded me was they never gave me the impression that this was how they viewed themselves. We did become friends and I stayed with them on several occasions while I was involved with the ministry. They were and still are an amazing, God-loving and God-serving couple.

It took some time, but I was finally witnessing the veneer coming off the "spiritual rock star" world. Yes, many of them were good teachers. But most of them knew how to work the emotions of a crowd. Some indeed had prophetic spiritual gifting, boldly telling a stranger in front of conference attendees the desires of their heart. But behind closed doors, most were worn out and wary of anyone approaching them. Many who attended these conferences had emotional needs that could not be met by one session of teaching. But they pursued these teachers, believing that somehow, any notice from them would give them the seal of approval they desperately wanted.

There are many reasons why people crave approval. Within a ministry, it is unavoidable that such people will seek out anyone they think has a "silver bullet" for whatever ails them. Some of these people I considered "black holes." No matter how much attention and encouragement was given to them, they needed more, and more, and more. This was why many of those "spiritual rock stars" were so wary and often distanced themselves from others. It was a question of spiritual survival. Without retreating, as Jesus often did to be with His Father, a minister could quickly become burned-out.

I watched and observed these leaders, and wondered if the same was in store for me? Was this what I really wanted? More importantly, was it what God wanted for me? All I knew was that from those experiences, I was driven to a deeper prayer life as I asked God these questions and more.

To be continued...

Why I Discarded My Ordination as a Woman in the Non-Denominational Church #Catholic

In light of the wonderful news from Saturday, where three Anglican bishops were ordained as Roman Catholic priests, there was the backdrop of two unhappy women staging a "protest" and demanding women to be ordained as priests. From the blog Mulier Fortis, she shares a collection of other articles and posts that reflected upon the event, and then added a photo from Facebook that showed two women holding up a banner that demands women to be ordained as priests.

A U.K. writer, Peter Stanford, shared his observations in his piece History Overturned as Anglican Bishops Are Ordained as Catholic Priests. There are a few points I disagree with, namely the old canard that the Catholic Church is somehow "anti-woman" and that this momentous occasion of Anglicans leaving for the Catholic Church is a negative thing.

From Stanford's article:

Instead, it was hard to avoid concluding that what this ceremony really signalled was an end to the search for the compromises that would reunite two distinctive churches, and its replacement by Rome's scheme to gather up so many Anglican converts that the Church of England simply withers on the vine. A takeover, not a merger.

When the Church of England decided to allow women and homosexuals to become priests, they were the one who ended any compromise that would reunite two distinctive churches. The Catholic Church has explained many times why it is impossible for women to be ordained as priests. But the Church of England didn't pay attention. So now they've reached a point of no return and some want to blame the Catholic Church over it? All these Anglicans who converted did was emphasize orthodox Christianity, not bending to the world's standards but upholding God's. As a famous person quipped, "If there is distance between you and God, guess who moved?"

Stanford also touches upon the debate about women being ordained:

It is the Vatican's negative attitude to women's ministry that formed the backdrop to the whole affair. The three recruits oppose the Church of England's plans to appoint female bishops and regard the Catholic priesthood as a safe, female-free haven.

I wrote a comment on Fr. Z's blog:

I'm coming with a different perspective regarding the ordination of women (And may just write my own post about it.). The ordination of women has become politicized as the feminist movement systematically infiltrated Protestant and non-denominational churches over the past 40 years. Since my return to the Catholic Church in 2008, I have continued to hear the same complaint: The Roman Catholic Church treats women as "second-class citizens." What amazing ignorance such accusations expose!

For one, we have our Blessed Mother, Mary -- Mother of God; who I may add, has been elevated and reverenced in the Church in a multitude of ways. If I could have a word with those women who are so unhappy with the Church, I'd ask them to please consider Our Lady, and dare them to follow her ways. She led her life in complete obedience to God and had humility, love, and compassion -- not to mention a boatload of wisdom. She has influenced everyone from popes and kings to small children. If what these women are seeking is recognition and influence, I can think of no better woman as a role model than the BVM.

And secondly, we have in the Church three women Doctors of the Faith (out of 33). And those women lived centuries before feminism reared its self-centered big head! St. Catherine of Sienna (1347-80), St. Teresa of Avila (1515-82), and St. Theresa of Lisieux (1873-97). Those saints are my role models, not Gloria Steinem.

I was ordained within my non-denominational church but over the years, I believe the Lord has shown me some (ugly) truths about the pursuit of power; and I realize we all know that this is what it's about. Power. However, what priest do you know who has that as his motivation to serve? None I can think of. To answer the call to the priesthood is to surrender to a life of sacrifice. It is a life of serving. Try explaining that to these thick-headed women. I suspect all one would receive is a blank stare.

When I think of my Catholic schooling, I think of the nuns. Granted, at the time they were being over-run by feminist ideology, but still, they were there. Some had surrendered themselves to the political tumult of the day but a few had not. Those women influenced me. I did not look upon them at the time as either "having power" or not. They were in my life and that was powerful enough. Too many women underestimate the influence they wield in the lives of others and those who continue to bang the drum for women's ordination are unfortunately blind to that fact.

They mistakenly believe that the only way a woman can make a difference is if she has a badge on her chest so everyone will notice. How wrong they are. Women make a difference every day within their parish by showing concern for someone in need, praying for them, making a meal. As Christians, we are all called to give to others, to show love and compassion, to pray, to speak kindly to one another, to love our neighbors as ourselves - all without looking for recognition. This is what exasperates me when I see women clamoring for ordination. Seeking praise from men and women will not satisfy. And whatever is achieved will never be enough because the pursuit of power is never-ending.

I'm going to use my own experiences as an example.

In 1995, I left my hometown of Cincinnati to attend a small ministry school in another state. I was part of the very first class of a brand new school, and we were all very excited. We had come to the school from all over the country and some, from other parts of the world. It was a small class, around twenty students who ranged in age from 21-55. We were drawn to the idea of pioneering a school for prophetic ministry and believed we'd make a difference someday as we ministered wherever God led.

As I entered the second year of the program, I was hired as the church secretary. I'll be honest. I wanted to do more than make copies of a newsletter and answer the phone. But I had been encouraged by many people to "trust in the Lord and wait upon Him." If He had other plans for me, He would allow them to bloom in His timing. It was during this time that I started to read about famous women evangelists and prophetesses, desiring to preach to large crowds. I admired women who had broken through "the stained glass ceiling" to finally be respected by the men for their leadership qualities and spiritual authority. I reasoned at the time that many women had traveled to distant parts of the world to plant churches because men weren't available, so why not me? Already there were seeds of discontent sown but I was oblivious. God, obviously, had His work cut out for Him.

At our church, we'd have famous prophets and prophetesses visit. They often gave "words of knowledge" to those at the service. I always hungered for these words, viewing it as confirmation that I was spiritually unique and that God had a special plan for me. Looking back now, I can see that I was yearning for the recognition of the world. I thought that if others saw me as having a certain sense of spiritual authority, I would finally be seen as someone worthy. I might even get to hang out with the "spiritual rock stars" in the prophetic world.

Was I in for a rude awakening.

To be continued...

Happy New Year! Do You Have Spiritual Resolutions for 2011? #Catholic

Happy New Year, everyone! Another year closes and a new one begins. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We Catholics continue to celebrate the birth of Christ and remember that time in history when wise men sought Him and the Holy Family rejoiced.

I always love New Year's Day. It makes me feel as though I have this huge white board in front of me, white a fresh-fallen snow, and I have the opportunity to make positive changes in my life. We all know about the common resolutions most people have during this time. Losing weight, exercising more, eating more nutritional meals, reading good books, and volunteering may all be worthy resolutions that will reap great rewards. But have you ever made a spiritual resolution? Something that will help you grow closer to God and strengthen your faith?

Mine for this year was quickly determined. I have chosen Mary as my spiritual resolution. I want to understand her more, and understand her role in the Church and in my life. For many years, I operated under the Protestant view of Mary, which isn't much. She was brought out around Christmas and that was it. So returning to the Catholic Church has included having to re-examine my thoughts regarding her and asking for God's grace to accept Church teaching.

I'm nowhere near being a Marianist and at this point, not worried if I ever will be. I'm taking this one step at a time. And as a matter of fact, another woman from my parish will be joining me for walking sessions where we walk and talk about Mary. She also has questions and reservations and we figured it would be good to explore these things together. I've already accepted the Immaculate Conception. There are other doctrines that I'll be examining and praying for God's guidance on knowing the truth and receiving it.

Attending today's Mass was part of this resolution. Today is the Solemnity of Mary, a feast day. It celebrates Mary's motherhood of Jesus. It also is the first Saturday of the month, perfectly beginning the New Year with the First Saturday devotion to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. There are five First Saturdays to this devotion, although they happen throughout the year. I find it fascinating how this devotion is meant to revere Mary, but yet also bring us closer to Jesus. Some Protestants don't understand this devotion but I can say that Mary is nothing without Christ. She is always pointing the way to Him. She never takes any glory for herself.

Recently, I heard a priest say something beautiful. He was talking about the Holy Rosary. He said, "The Rosary is a meditation on Jesus Christ, and seeing Him through the eyes of His mother." That really impacted me. I do meditate on the mysteries of the Holy Rosary, but never saw it as that -- viewing Jesus through the eyes of His mother. And we all know how much mothers love their children! So these are with eyes of love that we are viewing our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I'll be commenting this year on any kind of spiritual lessons I'm learning as a result of this devotion. I do have the book by St. Louis de Montfort, Consecration to Jesus through Mary. I tried to do it in 2010 but didn't succeed. I'm going to try again this year.

I hope 2011 is an amazing year for you and that you, also, are drawn closer to our Lord Jesus Christ. I pray that we all know Him in a greater degree, starting today. :-)

Join My Facebook Page: One Thing I Learned At Mass #Catholic

I started my first Facebook "Like" page. (Formerly known as "fan" pages.) It's called "One Thing I Learned At Mass." From my page description:

This page was inspired by a CD I recently heard, "Seven Pillars of Catholic Spirituality" by Matthew Kelly. (Lighthouse Catholic Media) During his talk, he suggested that Catholics purchase a journal, and after attending their weekly Mass obligation, they jot down the one thing they learned during Mass, with the goal of implementing it in their lives.

I really liked the idea. However, I'm not that great keeping a written journal. I thought it might be more interesting to have a community where we shared with one another the "one thing" we learned and what how we intended to focus on it. Along the way, I hope we can encourage each other and receive inspiration.

When I attended a Presbyterian church and non-denominational churches, I would bring my Bible and a notebook. I'd take notes during the sermon and often look up and meditate upon the Scripture verses throughout the week.

After I heard Matthew Kelly's suggestion of purchasing a journal to keep the "one thing" I learned during Mass, and then focused on implementing that one thing in my life, I was inspired. I thought it was a fabulous idea. He asked, "How would our world changed if the millions of Catholics started doing this?" I got excited as I thought about the implications.

So, the "Like" button is at the top right and I hope you join and contribute. I think it will be interesting to see what others post as their "one thing" and I hope it will encourage us all.

Pass it along and I would be very grateful if you, my fellow Catholic bloggers, would post it on your page. Thank you!

Virtual Panoramic View of the Sistine Chapel #Catholic

A friend sent me this a few months ago. I am so thrilled the Vatican has started to use technology to share its gorgeous art with the world. I had the privilege of visiting the Vatican in 1985, although I wish I could say it was a spiritual pilgrimage. However, even as a tourist, one cannot help but marvel at the architectural genius of one of the greatest spiritual sites in the world. I was amazed by St. Peter's Basilica and other sites, such as the museum and the catacombs.

Enjoy!

Virtual Panoramic View of the Sistine Chapel

Use your arrow buttons on the keyboard to move around to the side and up. The "zoom" button is at the bottom left of the page.

Update on Prayer Request: Fantastic News!

I am tired, but I felt that I had to update our situation because I am still on "cloud nine."

We had a miracle.

From my last post: A tumor was found in my husband's colon, discovered by an urgent colonoscopy. Mickey had some rectal bleeding that came suddenly and led to the emergency room. After the colonoscopy, tests were ordered; CAT scan, X-ray, bone scan. Thankfully, all came back negative regarding any metastasizing. Surgery was scheduled to remove part of Mickey's colon where the tumor resided. It went well and the surgeon also added that the lymph nodes were taken to be tested. My elation at the negative results from the other tests evaporated as I thought about the lymphatic system. What would we find?

The worst part is waiting... The surgery was Wednesday. It was only today, mid-morning when we found out the pathology of the tumor. It was a "baby" tumor, halfway between being a benign polyp and part of it turning into malignancy. It was caught early and all of it was removed, with no signs of other cancer cells being found in Mickey's system. And, the lymph nodes were clear.

I stayed overnight at the hospital, sleeping in one of those not-quite-comfortable chairs, next to Mickey's bed. I wanted to be there first thing in the morning for whatever news the doctors would give. I awoke at 4:30 AM and immediately started my morning prayers. I am praying a novena to St. Peregrine and also prayed prayers to St. Anthony, St. Padre Pio, our Blessed Virgin Mother, and of course, our Lord Jesus Christ. After my prayers, I felt at peace and filled with hope. I felt we would have good news this day. And we did.

There is so much running around my mind, right now. All day we've been spreading the good news to our families and friends. Mickey will be "under surveillance," having to visit several doctors to keep posted on his progress. He is healing wonderfully after a major surgery. I am thrilled beyond words that I have my husband back in our home and that tonight, after a week of him being in the hospital, we will once again share our bed and wake up in the morning next to one another.

Cancer is a very scary word. But today showed me that God is most definitely bigger. I told my father that I had already prayed for God's will to be done and understood that the news could have gone in another direction. As you may imagine, I am so very glad it went toward healing and recovery. Quite simply, our lives changed within a week's time. Our diets are going to change. We will start walking together or engage in some kind of exercise to keep active. Our holidays will be sweeter and I believe both of us will look at each day as a true gift given to us by God.

There is also another aspect of this trial. I leaned on our Mother Mary more than I ever have in my life. I really felt as though she cared and yes, petitioned for the prayers that were crying from my heart. I have always felt God's presence but Mary has been another matter. Today, I felt as though she was smiling down upon us.

My husband is going to do a video about the importance of colonoscopies and that everyone should be screened. If it weren't for the bleeding, I know he never would have done it on his own. He is one of the most stubborn men I've known when it comes to visiting a doctor. But now he is, in a sense, "born again" regarding medical testing. As one student-doctor said to us, Mickey "dodged a big bullet" on this one.

Thank you all for your prayers. There is really no way I can repay you except to express my gratitude. Your prayers not only affected Mickey's health, but mine. I felt strength and a great deal of encouragement. I posted on all the ukulele message boards about Mickey's news and was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. Mickey and I are very, very blessed to have such friends in our lives.

Tonight, Mickey and I prayed a thanksgiving prayer for everything God has done and we asked that our heavenly Father blesses each and every one of you for your compassion. He is so good! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. :-)

The Post I Never Thought I'd Write: Update on Prayer Request #Catholic

My last post requesting prayer was cryptic for a few reasons. First, I notice that many Catholic bloggers, when requesting prayers for certain situations, are vague with whom they are for or the reason for the request. This practice is surprisingly refreshing and humble, since it seems Catholics have a prayer for every need on earth and quite a few that cover a multitude of needs.

Second, I really wasn't sure what was going on but there also was a bit of shock going on in my system as I entered into the unknown. I now come to you and ask for your prayers and intercession on behalf of my darling husband, Mickey. As some of you know, Mickey is not Catholic although he has Catholic great-grandfathers and great-grandmothers. He was cooperative enough to enter into the annulment process (because he was divorced) on my behalf so that our marriage could be blessed by the Church when I returned to Catholicism in 2008. I could not have asked God for a better spouse and our love for one another only has deepened over the years.

Yesterday, we celebrated our nine year anniversary in a hospital. Not where I would have wanted to do so, but circumstances had brought us there. Mickey was admitted to the hospital on Friday, December 3 for rectal bleeding. As you may suspect, this caused alarm. We went to the hospital's emergency room where, after checking him, they advised to admit him so they could keep an eye on him. I agreed and we did. A colonoscopy was ordered, but unbeknownst to me, there are certain procedures that aren't done over the weekend unless it's an emergency. So Mickey had to wait until Monday.

I think I can say that Monday was one of the most trying times of my life. The colonoscopy wasn't scheduled until the end of the day. It is a fairly quick procedure and thank God we have this method of examining our colons. Sometimes polyps grow in the colon that if left unchecked, can become cancerous. During a colonoscopy, they can safely remove these little buggers before they cause trouble. With Mickey's colonoscopy though, they found something a little larger than a polyp. They found a tumor.

And... that's when the roller-coaster ride of "what is it and what do we do?" began. The doctors determined that Mickey needed surgery to remove that section of his colon and tests began. CAT scan, X-rays, blood work. The good news is that his CAT scan came back clear as did the X-ray. Later on Tuesday, he had a bone scan. Yesterday morning we received more good news that his bone scan was clear. I was elated! Yesterday, on our ninth anniversary, Mickey had surgery to remove that nasty tumor, for which I was immensely grateful. But now, there is one more test to take, which I especially ask for your prayers: the lymphatic system. During surgery, it's routine to remove lymph nodes to test. So my prayers have been that this test will also show up as clear.

When things like this happen, it's so easy to say, "Why me? Why us?" As I walked down the hospital's corridor yesterday, I said to myself, "Why not me? Why not us?" We don't know the reason why God permits certain things in our lives, we only know that He is there and He is in charge. My faith has been getting a huge work-out this week and dare I say, so has Mickey's. I have been incredibly touched by the prayers and support we've already received from my home church as well as friends and family.

God has given me encouragement in many ways. For instance, the first nurse I talked to in the endoscopy department was very compassionate. After I got the news (and heard for the first time the word "tumor"), I said to her, "I think I'm going to cry." She immediately came over and gave me a hug and told me it was totally understandable as I cried on her shoulder. I then collected myself and said, "Well, I'm going to find the right saint for this one and start a novena!" She smiled.

I walked away and then thought, "Hmm. She looks Catholic to me." So being the enormous extrovert that I am (even in this circumstance), I marched back over to her and asked, "Hey, by any chance are you Catholic?" She smiled and nodded. In fact, she told me she attended St. Cecilia's, which is around the corner and down the street from where we live. I was surprised. "Wait a minute," I said. "I attend St. Cecilia's too, on occasion. I think I might know you...." As my mind ran through past introductions, it dawned on me. "I think you're my neighbor!"

She looked at me smiling, but with a puzzled look. I then described her back yard, which is adjacent to our building, and then described her husband who takes such pride in his garden, and especially in growing his hostas'. She nodded. Yes, that was her husband and garden. I slightly remembered here because one time when I went to church, I noticed she was getting in the car with her daughter. I pulled out behind them and saw they were going to the same place as me. We both talked about what a small world it was. I knew in that moment that I was in the right place and that God was watching over us.

At the moment, my husband is recovering from his surgery yesterday. There are all sorts of things he is going through in order to help him heal. But what I cherish above everything else is prayer. I attended Mass yesterday for the Holy Day of Obligation for our Blessed Mother's Immaculate Conception. (I found it interesting that I chose that day to get married without even realizing what day it was. Even though I wasn't in the Catholic Church at the time, I can't help but think this is significant.) I have been discovering some beautiful prayers and yes, the patron saint for cancer is St. Peregrine. This morning I prayed the Sacred Heart of Jesus prayer for the first time, at least for the first time I can remember. (What a tender and lovely prayer!)

So I ask for you to also keep my darling man in prayer. He is such a good man and treats people with love and respect. He gets along with everyone and is full of life, very much a "happy-go-lucky" type that can charm anyone. Throughout it all, I do ask for God's will and know that His will is indeed perfect. I ask for the grace and strength to accept whatever His will may be and the same for Mickey and our family and friends.

You, my dear readers, have encouraged me with your comments many times in the past. I want to thank you for your past prayers and ask if you send up a few more on behalf of my dear husband. I felt the prayers yesterday from my church family. How anyone gets through such times as these without faith is a mystery to me. Praise God for His Son, His Holy Spirit, for our Blessed Mother, and for all the angels and saints who constantly intercede on our behalf. I can safely say that since returning to the Catholic Church, I feel as though I have more "spiritual coverage" than I ever did outside of it. I am amazed and humbled, surprised and delighted. To God be all the glory. :-)

Prayer Request

A personal intention, but a loved one is in need of prayer. Thank you very much.

So What Is "Church?" #Catholic

This is one of the many questions about church that continues to nibble at me. I'm not saying my musings here are right or wrong. They're just thoughts. Questions. What-if's.

When I attended the non-denominational church, my life was a hectic whirl of activity. Not only was I at church services Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night -- but at Bible study groups and ministry meetings throughout the week. It was a roller-coaster ride of finding out what my spiritual gifts were and then finding places to use them. Or even if I wasn't exercising my gifts, to volunteer for something. No matter what, the message from the church seemed to be: Don't just sit there, do something!

Yesterday, I did some searching on the Internet for my old church and also, another search on my first Vineyard pastor that greatly influenced me. I found a blog that included an interview from one of the pastors and admittedly, felt a sense of relief that my choice of "living church" is more subdued. During the interview, my old pastor said this regarding home churches: We help them to prepare for an encounter with God and His Word.

And I wondered: is this the purpose of church? To me this approach seems backwards. I've always believed that we come to church to worship God first. As we focus on Him, perhaps He may speak to our hearts. Or maybe not. But my decision to attend church is to give worship to Him, not to get something from Him; which may sound snippy but that's not my intent. I love it when I sense God speaking to me through the reading of Scripture or a specific moment in the liturgy. I love those times when I know I'm receiving a revelation of His truth and so very often, they are small but precious, like a diamond. His truth, at least the way I get it, is usually something small but powerful. Like realizing suddenly that my vocation is marriage or how we as a church are to offer God our lives in sacrifice (during the liturgy's offertory).

I don't receive these types of revelations all the time, which I'm fine with. I cherish them when I do. But most of the time, I'm there to worship Him, thank Him, and rejoice with all the saints that we are so loved.

One of my old pastors is affiliated with a Christian college. I found the college's website online and listened to a few videos of the worship band. I couldn't even listen all the way through. The musical style reminds me too much now of the 70's folk tunes. In fact, the style hasn't seemed to have changed much during the past twenty years. It's this dreamy, breathy kind of music that typically has a young "twentysomething" woman holding a mic close to her mouth while her eyes are closed and she's repeating the refrain hypnotically.

It just feels too "me-ish." But maybe it doesn't matter because she's in the place she needs to be during this time in her life. For me, it's only another reminder of how much I've changed; how far into the interior spiritual life I've gone. The music I prefer now is Gregorian chant or classical hymns like Panis Angelicus.

I'm also suspecting that my perspective on church has changed as I've grown older. Before, I liked all the excitement of a large worship band, thumping out a rousing twenty minutes of worship music. Now I want silence. I like being in a pew, kneeling, while everyone else is silent, recognizing there is a time and place for focusing on God.

Have you recognized changes in yourself regarding how you look at church? Has anything shifted for you?

Joy Behar, Bullying, Joel Osteen, the Bible, and Homosexuality #Catholic

Let's take a look at the definition for bully, from Merriam-Webster's Dictionary:

Bully (verb)
bul·lied bul·ly·ing
Definition of BULLY
transitive verb
1: to treat abusively 2: to affect by means of force or coercion

intransitive verb
: to use browbeating language or behavior : bluster

I like to check the dictionary for clarification of a word's meaning, and in this case, it is necessary since people like Joy Behar are trying to redefine the word "bully" to fit their own agenda. To wit:

On November 4, Joel Osteen appeared as a guest on the television program, The View, to promote his new book, It's Your Time. Osteen reminds me a bit of Robert Schuller. He's upbeat, positive, and focuses on God's love for us. However, the "shrews of The View" couldn't resist yet another opportunity to attack Christianity. Specifically, Joy Behar showed a breathtaking amount of hubris by accusing Christians of "bullying" homosexuals by believing the Bible.

From Newsbusters:

ABC's "The View" hosted pastor Joel Osteen Tuesday, author of the book The Christmas Spirit – but the conversation took a controversial turn and went from Christmas to homosexuality. Co-host Joy Behar belittled Osteen about his conservative Christian beliefs on the matter.

ABC's Barbara Walters first popped the question in the middle of the interview, flagging it was a "controversial" topic. She referenced a previous quote made by Osteen on the show about homosexuality not being "God's best" for a person's life. Walters asked him how he felt about a Georgia pastor who recently came out and said he was gay.

After Osteen's tepid response, Behar interrupted him and flatly lectured him that homosexuality is natural. "It's not a choice, Pastor," she asserted. "It's not a choice, and therefore I don't think that God would look askance at homosexuality in that way, because it's not a choice. They're born this way, people are born this way."

When Osteen tried to respond, the comedian-cum-theologian butted in again to assert that "the Christian church should embrace that notion." She later accused Osteen of being a part of the gay bullying problem, telling him that his Biblical interpretation of homosexuality leads to bullying.

"But when you say that the Bible is against gays, that makes people get bullied, and bad things happen to people because of what the people say about that," she told Osteen.

After Behar further interrupted the guest to make her point, Osteen defended his church's stance and said that it welcomes all sinners. "If you came to our church, Joy, you would see people from all walks of life," he explained. "We're for everybody, we're not against people."

"We're not for bullying," he added. "I mean, if you follow our ministry at all, we're for uplifting people. But there's the Scripture that we can't necessarily change."

Co-host Whoopi Goldberg also joined the debate, quoting Scripture to try to prove that God doesn't judge, so neither should humans judge homosexuals. "I really believe that God said very clearly 'No one else can judge you, but Me'," Goldberg expressed.

Full article and transcript

So.... who is bullying whom?

I am getting fed up with these types of attacks on our Christian faith. And Joy Behar's bullying tactics are repugnant; exposing her hypocrisy for being "against" bullying when in fact she herself is a bully when anyone doesn't agree with her position. Her faulty logic is so full of holes and erroneous presumptions that it was amazing Osteen didn't laugh in her face. For instance:

Behar says people are "born gay." They are not. To this day, a "gay gene" has not be discovered. Plus, Behar and Goldberg overlook the fact that many women deliberately decide to live a lesbian lifestyle as a commitment to their anti-male beliefs. I read a book by a Mormon woman who was married. She started asking questions in her church, which didn't make her popular. Her husband was told, in so many words, to rein her in. He was unsuccessful. They ended up getting a divorce and the woman entered therapy with a female psychologist.

After some time, this woman decided to begin an affair with her female psychologist. Her reason? After allowing her resentment of men to reach a boil, she defiantly claimed that she was removing her mind and resources from a male-dominated society; and this included removing her body from being "sexually used" by men. It was a deliberate decision on her part.

I've also said that in the Bible, if God is going to call something an abomination, how much sense does it make for Him to force someone to live such a life by causing them to be born that way? (Lev. 18:22, Lev. 20:13) He wouldn't and He doesn't. Some critics have said that since we don't sacrifice cattle anymore, the Laws of the Old Testament are nullified; as though following one means that all the others must be followed. But in fact, there are three types of Law defined in Leviticus and Deuteronomy- priestly law, civil law, and moral law. Although the priestly law and civil law is not observed by modern society, moral law has not been abolished, for it represents the character of God. Since God is holy and sovereign; and does not change, neither has His moral laws. Homosexuality is also condemned in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Romans 1:26-28. We didn't add anything to Scripture. It is what it is and it's been around for a very, very long time.

Whoopi Goldberg thought she won the point by saying God is the only one who can judge and that "no one else can judge" but God. Well, she's partially right, according to St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 (emphasis mine):

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with immoral men; not at all meaning the immoral of this world, or the greedy and robbers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But rather I wrote to you not to associate with any one who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or robber--not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. "Drive out the wicked person from among you."

The Christian is to realize that outside the Church, there are the unsaved, trapped in sin and separated from God. Indeed, they will be judged (as we all will) when we stand before Him in the afterlife. But once a person enters the Church, it's a different story. Then they are held to God's standards, not the world's; and it is incumbent upon them to obey His word.

Christians are being bullied by the gay activists because we do not believe homosexuality is natural. We also believe that according to God's law, it is an abomination. This is a very hard truth. Many of us have family members or friends who are a homosexual or lesbian. But I don't know of any of my Christian friends who deliberately hang out at gay bars and call down fire and brimstone. Most Christians understand that sexuality is one of the toughest areas in which to submit to God. But we're called to surrender it, nonetheless.

Finally, I wish I could send this message to Hollywood and everyone else who is attacking the Church on this issue: Recognize boundaries. The world and the church are two separate entities. Our country has a history of enforcing a separation between church and state; and although the First Amendment of the Constitution never said that the state is to be free of religion, it does say the government should not force religion upon any citizen.

You can't have it both ways, Hollywood. You can't keep screaming at the top of your lungs that the Church can't erect nativity scenes on federal property, display the Ten Commandments in a judicial building, or hold prayer meetings during city council; yet insist that the Church reflect the world's value system. The Church is not a democracy. It does not submit to the world's system because the world's system conflicts with the Kingdom of God. In fact, it is diametrically opposed to God's divine plan.

So to "demand" that the Church start marching to the tune of the world is completely laughable. Yes, our current culture can bring lawsuits against Christians if they don't want to do business with homosexuals or lesbians (Which emphasizes my earlier question: who really is the bully?). Most of the time these cases go to court, gay activism wins. And if it is truly discrimination, those cases should win. But too often, there is an intentional aim to totally destroy anyone who does not agree with the gay activists.

After going through some soul-searching of my own, here are my positions:

1) I do not believe in gay marriage, because marriage is a sacrament of the Church. It is meant for those who have surrendered their lives to God through the sacrificial atonement of Jesus Christ. I do, however, believe in civil unions. If this will give the individuals involved the rights to be involved in health-care issues and receive benefits, fine. To me, that seems to be the main point, anyway. If gays, who for many years have lambasted and vilified the Church for their doctrines suddenly now want the sanction of the Church, one must ask why? It makes no sense. Stick with civil unions.

2) I have no problem doing business with gays, lesbians, transsexuals, transgendered, or little green men from Mars. It's not my place to judge you. You're outside of the Church and will have to answer to God someday. However, if you do start going to church (and especially if you join the Roman Catholic Church), then you're going to be faced with many doctrines that will require obedience. Meanwhile, my prayer is that all would consider the claims of Jesus Christ and be open to being changed for the Kingdom of God.

3) I do have a problem with bullying on any level. Sixty years ago, homosexuals didn't appreciate being put in a closet, have snide comments made about them, or worse -- physically attacked. Guess what? No one likes this type of treatment. If you believe that it's time you've been let out of the closet, don't try forcing Christians into one. Christianity has been around a heck of lot longer than you've been in a closet and will be around long after you're dead. Live and let live. People have differences of opinion and if it's not affecting you directly, then let it go. The clothing industry isn't trying to force Mormons to wear hot pink underwear in their temples or trying to get the Jainist Digambaras to wear clothes, period. So stop trying to bully other people into believing what you believe. Just because some groups believe that I'm a "white devil" doesn't mean I obsess on trying to prove them wrong. It's a waste of time and an infringement on the freedoms this country enjoys.

So Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg, the next time you want to start tearing apart the Church because it doesn't answer to you; remember to Whom it does answer. And I'll give you a hint.

It's not Hollywood.

Why Can't Parishioners Know When To Shut Up? #Catholic

I'm talking about arriving ten minutes before Mass and finding the sanctuary filled with the sounds of a subdued suburban mall instead of silence for a sacred space. Several parishes I've visited have had people yakking to one another as though they're in a town hall rather than a place for prayer and meditation.

Is what I have to say to my neighbor so important that it can't wait until after Mass has ended?

Recently, I visited my father and stepmother in Florida. Both are very devout Catholics. They told me about their chatty parishioners, so I was prepared. At least I thought I was. We arrived about five minutes before Mass and filed into a pew near the sanctuary. In the pew in front of us, a couple were chatting animatedly with a gentleman who was sitting in the pew in front of them; and was turned almost completely around as his arm extended casually on the top of the wooden pew. My father and his wife wasted no time in shushing them. "Psst.. quiet, please. We're trying to pray."

I was slightly surprised that this little social gathering didn't even take a breath when realizing newcomers were kneeling behind them. To their credit, they did immediately stop chatting when asked to pipe down, but for the love of pete, they had to be asked? What has happened to the Catholic Church?

I remember when I was younger and the nasty looks we'd get from our teachers if we tried to whisper something to our neighbor. I also remember the first time I heard clapping during a Mass. I was mortified. It wasn't because I didn't like clapping or celebrating. It was because I was raised to see Mass as a very holy and silent hour within a busy week.

When you think of it like that -- that Mass is only one hour (and for us blessed with a Latin Mass, an hour and twenty minutes), is it too much to expect those who attend to be silent and respectful of that time?

Our society has become even chattier with the addition of technology. So not only do we have that old relic of a standby -- the telephone; we now have the Internet, email, text messaging, and even location-based social media services so we can let everyone on the planet know that we're at a McDonald's in Ashland, Kentucky and enjoying the Best. Fries. Ever. There seems to be an ever-increasing need to talktalktalk and let everyone know what we're thinking during every waking moment, everyday.

If you suspect I have a few drops of contemplative blood in my veins, you'd be correct.

But I'm also half-Italian; which means I can jawbone like a Southerner at a family reunion. However, chalk it up either to my upbringing or my temperament, I know there are times to be silent. Mass, certainly, is one of those times.

One time I was visiting my brother in Cincinnati. I had left to return to Columbus, but not before attending Mass. I visited my father's parish and arrived about twenty minutes early. I thought I'd spend some quality time in prayer and silence. I entered the church, and made my way to an empty pew. I passed two women a few pews back. One was sitting and the other was standing alongside the pew, in the aisle. They were chatting in normal voices as though they were in a grocery store. I thought once I knelt they'd at least lower their voices, if not stop altogether. Nope. Nothing was going to interrupt their little tête à tête. I don't think I lasted a minute before I got up and walked out. I realized I'd be really early for the only Latin Mass in town, and even though it was out of my way, I headed toward that parish. The silence was entirely worth it.

I think it says something about us as a Church when we can't stop thinking about ourselves for just one hour so we can focus totally on God. I include myself in this because I still have moments when I'm distracted. I also think that engaging in social conversation within what is supposed to be sacred space, sets a bad precedent.

It shows a complete lack of regard and sensitivity for our fellow parishioners. How do we know what is going on in someone's life? Attending Mass that morning may be the only peace they will experience for an entire week. Pouring out our heart to God in preparation for Mass is not easy. It is so much easier not to face our frailties, our shortcomings, and our sins. It is easier to shrug off the suffering of the world in order to focus instead on The Me Show. Placing the needs of others above our own while setting aside our own preferences is a beautiful act of worship that we can give God.

I know this is a huge issue. I have a great deal of empathy for our priests who realize the problem but not sure how to solve it. My father's parish had the announcements before Mass and there was an admonishment to remember to be quiet because people were trying to pray. (Good night. Didn't we learn anything in kindergarten?)

I have a feeling that the only way things will change is if a few brave priests spend time on the subject during their homilies, and when other parishioners start to do what my father and stepmother did -- pointedly reminding people that they're not at a baseball game.

I know not all Catholic parishes are like this. But I can't help but wonder that if a congregation cannot recognize that the time to pay homage to the mystery of our faith, once a week, for one hour, is during Mass - then when is that time?

Noteworthy Blog: Orwell's Picnic and Her Dead-On Pieces on Feminism #Catholic

A friend of mine recommended the blog "Orwell's Picnic." I remember reading it and instantly liking the opinions of its author, Hilary Jane Margaret White. Recently, a blog post of hers was featured on Pew Sitter and I loved it. The post, "A Hateful Ideology," showcased a video where a U.K. psychologist and Men's Rights activist said, "There's no way I would regard feminism as anything but an evil in our society."

Hilary Jane may categorize her post under the title "Why I don't like women," but she is one woman I do like. And there are many others who share the same opinion: that radical feminism has brought destruction and misery in to society.

I'm a very strong, independent woman, myself. But in my early days of being drawn to feminism, I quickly sensed something wasn't completely right. I didn't want to see men as the "enemy" but simply wanted my talents and expertise compensated fairly. I also am not the kind of personality that welcomed a full tank of anger and as I started to visit feminist events, I saw first-hand several patterns: women were either angry, frustrated, or depressed. None of these traits were attractive to me. Years later, as I've watched feminists gain more and more "rights" (sometimes at the expense of men's rights), I thought I'd finally see some satisfaction from their ranks. Not a chance.

Instead, it seems that many of these women are caught in a relentless wheel of dissatisfaction and that any victory they achieve is only celebrated for moments before cranking out more demands to be seen as equal. Equality, in my eyes, has been reached. Discrimination is not nearly as much of a problem as it was, say, in the sixties. I am grateful for this but yet am amazed that many of these radical feminists cannot rest and enjoy what has happened. Instead there is this joyless trudging through life as though a battle-ready existence is much more preferable to relishing peace-time.

Women do have the ability to influence society for the good. (Instead of embracing oppressive philosophies such as socialism.) But more women who reject feminism need to start becoming involved by sharing their views with their own families, friends, and within their churches. I continue to think of our Blessed Mother when I think of feminism. She was truly feminine, not weak at all but full of God's grace, bestowed upon her through humility. She didn't insist on her own way but instead surrendered to God everything. She trusted Him above all things and was used as His instrument in bringing salvation to the world. There are so many lessons women can learn from her that can enrich our lives.

Hilary Jane has more posts under the category "why I don't like women" but I fully understand her reasoning. Over the past sixty years in the U.S., there has been a systematic attack on the traditional family, in which women played a core role. Once you get a woman confused and dissatisfied, the structure of the family unit is weakened. It is, in my mind, evil -- and straight from the pit of hell. The devil sought to destroy the birth of Jesus and it has been the same ever since. The devil seeks death and destruction. Feminism is his tool.

If you find yourself in agreement, I heartily recommend visiting Orwell's Picnic. Hilary Jane has some very interesting thoughts on the topic.

There Is Healing After Abortion #prolife

I came across this article, which has a woman speaking about her decision to have an abortion and the consequences of that afterward. I am saddened by the pain that these women have gone through, often pressured to have an abortion by either the father of the child or a parent. I mourn the loss of life. But perhaps if more voices like this make it to our local newspapers, there is the opportunity to save someone else from making the same mistake.

For the first several months after the abortion, Thompson said it was “very difficult for me to see a baby.” She supported a woman’s choice to have an abortion, noting “it was the thing to do.” It wasn’t until later that she realized “it was nothing but to cover the pain and anguish” of her own abortion. She also considered suicide.

Years later, Thompson married and had a child. She later became pregnant again, but lost that child through a miscarriage, an experience she said was sent to her by God.

“The child I lost in a miscarriage was the same age of the aborted child,” she recalled. “That’s when life really became worse for me. I realized what had been bothering me.”

Thompson, who had strayed from her Catholic upbringing, returned to the Church. She sought forgiveness through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and attended a retreat through Project Rachel, the Church’s ministry to those who have experienced an abortion.

Today, the member of St. Ferdinand Parish in Florissant helps organize the semi-annual 40 Days for Life campaign, an effort which calls on people of all faith backgrounds to pray and fast for an end to abortion. Among their duties, participants take turns keeping a prayer vigil outside of the local Planned Parenthood abortion facility during the 40 days of the campaign.

I've had some conversations with a fellow co-worker who strongly believes in a "woman's right to choose." A favorite example of hers is asking what if a young 11 year-old girl was raped and then got pregnant? Wouldn't abortion be a more compassionate choice? I disagreed with her.

I said, "I would much rather see that girl give birth than condemn her to a life of pain and sorrow by putting her through something much more traumatic, which would be to undergo the horrific experience of an abortion. Abortion not only kills the baby, it emotionally and spiritually kills a woman."

My co-worker doesn't bring it up too often. But there are hundreds of thousands of women all across our nation who think like she does. Speak life, love life, bring life to all you do.

'America' Magazine's Name Calling of #Catholic Conservative Bloggers Misses Mark

America Magazine recently published an article written by Fr. James Martin regarding another article about conservative Catholic bloggers. I will start off by saying that I will strive for charity in my observations.

I agree with Fr. Martin regarding the overall tone of the Internet. When I first visited the Internet in 1997, it didn't take long to discover the virtual alley fights that occurred within the comment areas of online opinion pieces. It didn't bother me too much, though. Those who only commented to taunt and bait people, I learned, were called "trolls." They were often mocked and newcomers were told to "please don't feed the trolls." In other words, they were to be ignored.

I've ignored my share of trolls and also occasionally responded to their complete lack of intellectual honesty. But something is happening now within the Catholic blogosphere that I think is disingenuous. Which leads me to the article from America Magazine.

I was half-tempted to register with them just to leave a comment before saying, why bother? The slant of the article was offensive enough for a conservative Catholic and I'm not yet ready to accept the premise of it -- which is: Conservative Catholic bloggers are unloving and should take the log out of their own eye before judging someone else.

Unloving and Judgmental?

I've seen this argument before. It's usually hauled out when another Christian wants to defend either an erroneous belief or sin. Fr. Martin's position seems to indicate that constructive criticism is only available to those with a bunch of letters behind their names:

Second, many of these attack-bloggers betray little theological knowledge. It is one thing to be informed by a theological scholar with years of relevant experience working at the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, for example, that your article or book or lecture is not in keeping with the tenets of the Catholic faith. Or to have your work critiqued by someone who has carefully considered your arguments and, after weighing what you say regarding the tradition, responds in charity. It is quite another to be attacked with snide comments by someone barely out of college who spends his days cherry-picking quotes and thumbing through the Catechism in an endless game of Catholic gotcha.

This line of reasoning is at complete odds with the belief that examination of the Church is for everyone -- not just those with a theological background. If I remember correctly, Jesus didn't hang out with the "theological" gurus of His day, He hung out with those who would receive Him, the simple as well as the wise. In fact, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is simple, although this does not mean easy. Centuries ago, it was an accepted belief by many Catholics that "only the priest" could read the Bible and tell them what it meant. I'll never forget when I attended a "Christ Renews His Parish" retreat with my mother; we were given our own Bibles and an elderly woman exclaimed in shock, "Oh, no! I can't read this! Only the priest can and then tell me its meaning!"

She was reassured by the retreat leaders that indeed, the Bible was written for her because God would use it to draw her closer to Him. So in other words, every Catholic has two very important books to help us draw closer to God and receive the graces of the Church: The Bible and the Catechism. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to be working at the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in order to know what is aligned with Catholic doctrine and what isn't. All of the doctrine is clearly defined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. This was the whole point of having the Catechism. The fact that criticism is coming from "someone barely out of college" who uses the Catechism for direction (in which case I say "hoorah!" for that devoted young person), doesn't matter. What matters is upholding the truth of Catholicism.

And, it goes without saying but I'll say it anyway, to speak that truth in love.

Narrow-minded? Or Committed to Fidelity to the Church?

Fr. Martin continues:

Third, the focus of their blogs is almost risibly narrow. Here are the sole topics of interest, in the order in which they cause foaming at the mouth (or on the keyboard): homosexuality, abortion, women's ordination, birth control, liturgical abuses and the exercise of church authority. Is this really the sum total of what makes us Catholic?

Again, a disingenuous argument. It assumes that speaking of hot-button social issues is "narrow" and by implication, unloving. And, unfortunately, it is hypocritical. Who in the Church is championing the cause of active homosexuality? Who has been on an unerring track to pursue women's ordination? Who has said one can be Catholic and pro-choice at the same time? And who has been the biggest instigators of liturgical abuses? Certainly not conservative Catholics. In every one of those areas, it has been liberal Catholics who have rejected Church teaching, tradition, and Biblical instruction, in order to embrace worldly (and often sinful) philosophies that bring division and confusion to the Church.

Criticizing cultural issues such as same-sex marriage and abortion is a moral cause, and one I thought as Catholics we were called to challenge. When we see Catholic high schools not only accepting practicing homosexuality by their students but actively promoting it; you bet conservative Catholics are going to speak up. And we don't need a degree from a pontifical college to know it's wrong.

When those criticized respond by saying such challenges are "unloving" and "judgmental," I can only refer them to the Bible. Jesus Christ said many hard things during His time on earth. Was it loving to cast out the money-changers from the temple? Shouldn't He instead have said, "Gentlemen, this isn't the place for such activity, for it is a holy place. Please, kindly take your tables and merchandise elsewhere. Thanks." Would that have made an impact?

Jesus was angry and there was no mistaking it. He took the road of unleashing His righteous anger because of His love for His Father and a desire to see Him glorified outweighed His concern for offending people. He was upset that an area which was to be a place for worship and meditation was instead transformed into the equivalent of a busy mall.

I see conservative Catholic bloggers in the same light. They have endured many, many years of seeing the Mother Church maligned by those who would not defend her against the world. Yes, there is anger and frustration. I've already seen attempts by faithful Catholics to appeal to their bishop, often to no avail. There have been efforts by many to first write to their priest, and then write to their bishop if they didn't receive a response. There have been times when these same conservative Catholics tried to meet with the proper authorities to share their concerns. And the responses? They've varied from being ignored to condescension to at times, outright hostility toward those who refuse to march in lockstep with the "culturally-correct" view.

There have been orthodox seminarians who have been kicked out of their training because they didn't believe in women's ordination or recited the Rosary. There have been radical, feminist, lesbian nuns who seem to find more meaning in New Age practices than Catholic devotions. There have been faithful young Catholic graduates who can't find a job teaching in a Catholic high school because they're "too conservative" and thus, "narrow-minded."

The list goes on. In most of those cases, Catholics have looked to their priests and bishops to defend the Church and Catholic doctrine only to be dismissed and at times, mocked. One only needs to read The National Catholic Reporter to see the depth of the problem. Thankfully, not all priests and bishops respond in such manner. Many of them are faithful and understand the dilemma, often counseling their flock to love, to forgive, and to continue to uphold the truth.

The truth of the matter is that the Internet has finally given a voice to conservative Catholics and they're using it. No longer content to wait for a response from either a priest or bishop, Catholics have taken to the blogosphere to vent their frustration and question certain Catholic leaders' allegiance to the Magisterium. In fact, these Catholics (and I'm one of them) are exercising their "judgment of moral conscience" which, according to the Catechism, encourages a Catholic to do good and avoid evil.

From the CCC on The Judgement of Conscience:

1777 Moral conscience, 48 present at the heart of the person, enjoins him at the appropriate moment to do good and to avoid evil. It also judges particular choices, approving those that are good and denouncing those that are evil. 49 It bears witness to the authority of truth in reference to the supreme Good to which the human person is drawn, and it welcomes the commandments. When he listens to his conscience, the prudent man can hear God speaking.

1778 Conscience is a judgment of reason whereby the human person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act that he is going to perform, is in the process of performing, or has already completed. In all he says and does, man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right. It is by the judgment of his conscience that man perceives and recognizes the prescriptions of the divine law:

Conscience is a law of the mind; yet [Christians] would not grant that it is nothing more; I mean that it was not a dictate, nor conveyed the notion of responsibility, of duty, of a threat and a promise. . . . [Conscience] is a messenger of him, who, both in nature and in grace, speaks to us behind a veil, and teaches and rules us by his representatives. Conscience is the aboriginal Vicar of Christ. 50

Finally, a Call for Action

What I believe conservative Catholic bloggers desire is for their church leaders to stand strong against a world that is increasingly hostile to the faith. If the Church looks like the world, and acts like the world, is it still the Church? We indeed are to be transformed into the likeness of Christ, and yes, this involves sacrificial living and compassionately caring for the sick and wounded in our culture. But it also includes setting the captive free.

I loved my re-entry into Catholicism. I had finally made the decision to formally return to the Catholic Church after wrestling with it for a year. I made an appointment with a parish priest (who would end up being my parish priest) to discuss the issue. From my investigative efforts online, I realized that my husband's prior marriage could end up as a sticking point regarding my return and obtaining the Church's convalidation of our marriage. After confirming that I would need an annulment, this dear priest leaned across the table to look me directly in the eye and say, "I know it's difficult. But aren't you glad the Catholic Church cares about you enough to tell you the hard truth?"

I said, "Absolutely. And you know what I feel? Loved. Because I know the Catholic Church cares about my soul."

The priest smiled compassionately. The truth had been told to me in a loving manner, but it was uncompromising.

And that, ultimately, is what we as Catholics should all desire. That in a world full of darkness, the Church would shine the light and be steadfast in her mission -- to bring the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ to the poor, the needy, the lonely, and yes -- those entrapped in sin. Part of that mission includes confrontation. I pray that we continue to have meaningful dialogue, but make no mistake. That dialogue needs to be recognized and respected by all, no matter which side of the pew you occupy.

Regarding #Catholic Bloggers Putting Pressure on Diocesan Officials

A recent story describes how Catholic bloggers are (gasp!) holding their bishops accountable for either supporting -- or not, Catholic teaching. Oh, the humanity!

I think Michael Voris frames it well.

When a deacon, priest, bishop, archbishop or cardinal blatantly rejects Catholicism's position on moral, political, and religious issues; it's time to have a little heart-to-heart. And hopefully that talk will come from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

Is it really surprising that conservative Catholics want to see the traditions of our faith supported by our bishops? And speaking of "charity," where is the charity for those who desire the tradition of the Church as seen in the Gregorian Rite? (Traditional Latin Mass, also known as the Tridentine Mass.) Where is the charity for Catholics who support the Catechism on issues such as abortion or homosexuality? I myself have seen little but I'm still new at this. Charity is one thing but to coddle sin is another. And that's what I've seen far too many do -- coddle sin at the cost of one's soul. As Fr. Corapi has said, "I'm not going to hell for anyone!"

We need to speak the truth, no matter how unpopular it is in our culture. Speak it lovingly, but speak it. What parent looks at their child who has a serious injury and simply says, "I love and accept you." That is not going to help their child.

Instead, a loving parent will say, "You are hurt and your injury needs attention. The doctor will clean your wound to remove anything that could cause infection, and then stitch you up so you'll heal quickly. It will be uncomfortable for awhile but in the long run, you're going to be healthy."

That's the kind of parents we need. Thank God I had those kind of parents. But our beloved Mother Church needs exactly those kind of parents, too.

Pray for our church leaders, that they will not confuse compassion with complicity; and that they may be given eyes to see who God has called them to be. Stand strong.

A #Catholic Challenging the Culture: Blindly Following?

A recent article from NBC Chicago, featured a poll showing younger people as more devout to Catholicism than older people, referencing a story in The Chicago Tribune. The poll was conducted by Fr. Andrew Greeley, based on 500 respondents in Chicago's Cook and Lake counties in 2007. The newspaper story led with the youth angle, but in the NBC piece, there was a paragraph that said more than the words chosen (emphasis mine):

"The study also discusses “Cafeteria Catholics,” those who still revere the sacraments, but don’t blindly follow the church's teachings on moral, religious and political issues."

Why the phrase "blindly follow?" And how presumptuous is such a statement? I have seen this phrase used frequently, usually by those who have no understanding of the Catholic Church or her doctrine.

I am Catholic. As a Catholic, I am to trust the wisdom and authority of the Church. Does this mean I have checked my brain at the door? Of course not. Catholics are not known for "blindly following" anything. Catholicism has given us some of the brightest and most intellectual minds throughout history and have questioned everything from faulty science to prickly social justice issues. But to assume that since I follow the church's teachings on moral, religious, and political issues means I'm "blind," and by inference, incapable of thinking, is to assume several things. First, that the Church is wrong, and second, that trust and obedience are for suckers. It is highly offensive and insulting to those of us who know full well what we follow and why.

I am weary of these attacks on the Magisterium. There is something that goes deeper with trusting in the Church's teachings and it is a topic I've covered before. Trust requires surrender. It requires putting aside my doubts and asking God for the grace to believe. "I believe, help my unbelief!"

This isn't just a cry from a man thousands of years ago who pled with Jesus Christ for the ability to trust Him, but it is for all of us. Who wrestles with the Church's teachings except those who have not yet reached that level of trust? It certainly isn't easy to trust when we live in a culture that promotes sexuality without responsibility, religion on our own terms, and politics that aggressively pushes an anti-family, anti-God humanism no matter what the cost. These beliefs and philosophies have infiltrated the Church with an agenda that is not God's. It is actually an agenda that promotes, as Pope John Paul II said, a "culture of death."

I'd like to suggest a different phrase: "trustingly follow." I trust that those who in authority over me know what they're doing. If not, they're the ones who have to answer to God. Our hierarchy of Church government has a solemn job to do. They seek God for direction and make choices. I am called to trust their wisdom and to continually pray for them. They do their job. I do mine.

"Blind" is not even remotely a part of the equation.