Saturday, August 23, 2008

Clarification on the Video: Relationships and Tolerating Bad Behavior

After watching my latest video, it occurred to me that I should clarify a statement I made regarding bad behavior in a relationship. I mentioned that too often, women tolerate shabby treatment by men, such as Jennifer Aniston tolerating the ending of the relationship via text messaging.

When a relationship is at the end - and receiving a rather abrupt end, at that, there isn't any "tolerating" because the relationship has ceased. The best one can do at that point is not respond to such caddish behavior and move on.

To elaborate on the issue of tolerating bad behavior, here is one trustworthy rule: Establish relationship boundaries in the beginning. You will be able to maintain the health of a relationship if it is evident early on that you will not tolerate mistreatment.

For instance, imagine you meet a seemingly wonderful young man who makes you laugh and looks like David Beckham. He's all smooth moves and cool friends. He makes a date with you on Friday to meet at a club on Saturday night. He's a no-show. Afterward, he's full of excuses and charms his way back into your life.

I usually give someone a second chance. Life is filled with inconveniences and the trick is separating the honest good excuses from outright lies. But if a person starts to show a track record for inconsiderate or rude behavior, it's best to end the relationship rather than wait for the cell phone drama.

I suspect that Jennifer's relationship with this guy showed early signs of bad behavior, but she tolerated it. It's little wonder that it ended the way it did but few women are blindsided by such behavior. It begins as a leak before the dam bursts and regret floods into a single woman's life. I know. I've been there.

So keep your eyes open at the beginning of a relationship. Notice if a man keeps his word or making excuses all the time. There are times for forgiveness, but also times for a "straighten up and fly right, pal" discussion. Ask God for wisdom because if there is any area we need guidance with, it's our relationships. He will provide.

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