Bill Ayers, Rape, and Selective Political Posturing #tcot #sgp

I read an article on Robert S. McCain's blog ("The Progressive Legacy of Bill Ayers: Sloppy Seconds for Social Justice") that so unnerved me, I was shaking by the end of it. Few things set me off like the topic of rape. Not only is the very act vile and evil, but the politicization of it is just as vile. There are almost no words to describe the anger I feel when others rationalize it. However, I'm sure you know I have a few words. Oh, yes. A few, indeed.

First, the nightmarish story of a young woman who went to college with Bill Ayers and agreed to attend a party with him. Both got drunk. Neither was an excuse for what happened next. While she was in Ayers' dorm room, he barred the door and told her she wasn't allowed to leave until she had sex with his roommate and his own brother. If she refused to have sex with his roommate (who was black), then surely she was a racist. Because she felt trapped, and because Ayers was such a genius at using guilt - she gave in. She described having an "out-of-body" experience as she was consumed with self-hatred by her own willingness to fight. Ayers' brother, thankfully, declined to rape her.

McCain goes on to describe a more recent event. A young American woman, desiring to help Haiti and fight against injustice and oppression - ended up getting raped by the very object of her rallying support: a black man. In McCain's comment section, she claimed she was "asking for it" and got what she deserved. If you scroll down the comments, you'll see my response.

This type of thinking from the American woman, who is obviously a liberal, is the kind of half-baked mush coming from our institutions of so-called higher education. I remember years ago, Marilyn French's famous quote from her book The Woman's Room: "all men are rapists." I remember how the feminists marched across campuses throughout the country, insisting on "taking back the night." I imagine the American activist in Haiti would have much in common with such a protest. And therein lies the problem.

Is rape subjective? Is it acceptable in one situation but condemned in another? Obviously it is, at least according to Amanda Kijera pretzel-style logic. On one hand, women are brainwashed with radical feminism in college to look at all men with suspicion and assume there is a rapist within each one, waiting to pounce. On the other hand, they are taught that throughout the world, minorities are oppressed and as such, may retaliate in anger because of it. The "acting out" (which is swiftly nipped in the bud when coming from a toddler), is tolerated by the left because they think their success is somehow "stealing" something from those who, more often than not, are unwilling to make the effort.

It is warped logic and universities excel in it. Now you have the unfortunate result of a young woman who bought the lies, the twisted ideology, the misdirected shame and anger - who is forced to live with the tragic consequence of abuse. And amazingly, she is grateful for the experience. Friends, that to me is the pinnacle of crazy. When you call evil, "good," it's time to re-examine your values or at the very least, return your feminist card.

I have many targets toward which to aim my anger. The liberal school system for indoctrinating the young woman. The men who believe it's no big deal to rape someone. The rationalization of such a heinous crime. The excusing of the crime because the perpetrator was oppressed. And finally the woman who acts as though it is the paragon of virtue to silently remind herself that although life and dignity have been squeezed out of her, it's understandable because the poor guy can't get a job.

It's not. Rape is never acceptable and will always be an act of power and control over a woman. I ask you to pray for Amanda, for her safety and for her willingness to be honest with herself and a therapist. Healing after such an event will take time but can be done.

However, the healing can't even start when a woman refuses to acknowledge that what was done to her. It is wrong. It is not acceptable. And under no circumstances, should it be tolerated.

Yes, Women Have the Power to Change the World, But Why Not Start at Home? #Catholic #tcot #sgp

This morning, I just read a distressing article from Mail Online, Three generations ... all of them single mothers: Growth of extended 'man-free' families who rely on state handouts. From the article:

"Single motherhood has stretched through the generations to produce extended families without men. Grandmothers, mothers and daughters now live without husbands or fathers and rely on the state for support, a study found yesterday. Three-generation single mother families where no one works and which contain no men are now common, according to the analysis by researcher Geoff Dench.

The spread of the extended single-parent family was tracked through the findings of the British Social Attitudes survey which has followed families and their opinions each year for almost 30 years. It showed that more than half of grandmothers who do not have a husband or male partner themselves are likely to have daughters who are also single mothers. The 53 per cent recorded in 2008 was up from 44 per cent over a decade."

What a terrible commentary on relationships between men and women.

All I can think about are the children. To grow up without a father is one of the worst things that can happen to a child. Yes, a mother can love her child completely and raise the child the best she can, and yes, there can be father figures in a child's life (at least I hope there are some). But ultimately, the role of the father simply can't be outsourced. God created men and women with different purposes and the importance of the man's role as father cannot be overemphasized.

I grew up with a father. As I grew older, I realized how blessed I was - not only to have my father in my life, but to have two parents still married to each other. Although their marriage wasn't perfect, they worked through their differences and at the end of the day, would focus on the vows they took to love, honor, and cherish until death parted them. Marriage is for adults and I'm beginning to wonder if our pursuit for youth has not only affected our expectations for church, but our expectations for wedded bliss.

The Catholic Church tries its best to prepare her children for marriage. A Catholic doesn't just waltz into a priest's office and say, "Hey, there. I found a great woman to marry. Let's set the date!" There are classes to attend, prayers and counseling that are done. Of course there is a reason for all of this. The Catholic Church is trying to prevent exactly what is happening in the U.K. and the U.S. - hundreds of single mothers, struggling to raise families.

We need a revolution. And I think women are up for the challenge. What happened 30 or 40 years ago? It was the 1960's, and the feminist movement was gearing up for its second wave. (The first being the Suffrage movement that gained women the right to vote.) But a woman named Betty Friedan changed everything. Her book, The Feminine Mystique, blamed society's narrow view of roles as the reason women were dissatisfied. Another feminist activist and author, Carol Hanisch, coined the term, "The Personal is Political" and encouraged women to see their life as politicized and reflecting sexist power structures.

Fast-forward to today: it's no surprise to see women reaping the ugly fruit of those choices. Women were prodded into thinking of men as their adversary. Men were the problem. Men were trying to prevent women from expanding their horizons, controlling their destinies, oppressing them at every turn. And when marriages fell apart, it must have been because the men just didn't get with the program. Few women really examined "the program."

I have been on that side of the issue - looking at men and thinking they had "a problem." When I was younger, I rarely looked at my own role in the equation. I always thought it was the man who was the insensitive jerk or the selfish oaf. Rarely did I think that maybe some of the problems had to do with my expectations.

It wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties that I started to see men in a new light. This happened after many hours of Bible study and prayer. I started to see a larger spiritual strategy of attack upon the family. I saw how the family is the glue that holds societies together and without strong families, a community will be weak. Weak communities are more vulnerable to the onslaught of evil. All one needs to do to find proof is look at the newspaper headlines. The majority of criminals did not have a father while growing up. More than 1.5 million children have fathers in prison. Lord, have mercy.

After time, I started to see the good in men. I started to realize they were not my enemy but instead, people who need love like anyone else. This may sound basic (and perhaps silly) to some of you but I honestly used to think that men were made of granite. Strong, impenetrable. Impervious to having hurt feelings or a sense of loss. Thankfully, God opened my eyes to see that was far from the truth. Men, just as women, can have their feelings hurt by careless words or insensitive acts. It's not just men who can be jerks. There are many women who have earned that title, too.

It was during my thirties when I discovered that most divorces were initiated by women. At least two-thirds of those who file for divorce are women. And although there are instances where the divorce is filed because the man is abusive or violent toward his wife, only 6% filed for that reason. (According to a study done in Virginia.) The majority of divorces occur because a woman believes she and her husband have "grown apart" or, to gain control of the children. In fact, according the article I cited, the person who expects to gain custody of the children is the one most likely to file for divorce. And that's usually the woman.

I propose something radical. Let's love men. In fact, I often would bring up this exercise when I coached single women over forty. Older women have an issue with trusting men since they have been disappointed time and time again. However, it is not an insurmountable challenge. One of the exercises I gave them was this: Write down at least five things you love about men. Not "a man," but men in general. I did this myself when I was single and it started to change my views regarding men.

For instance, one thing I love about men is their easy-going camaraderie when they gather with other men. I don't know why, but I really get a kick out of watching men laugh together, good-naturedly ribbing each other, and showing a genuine affection toward their friends. I admire the way they can have heated debates and then turn around and have a beer together. (Women rarely can do this.) I like how they can shrug off differences of opinions without getting into a snit about it.

Another thing I love about men is their desire to help. Whether it's helping a woman trying to carry too many bags or rushing into a burning building to save people, men help. It seems to be in their nature. And I love it.

I fear that women have been trained to criticize men far too often at the expense of praising them. And there are many reasons to praise men. But when a few loud, disenchanted harpies decide to write books and appear on talk-shows, some women buy into that disenchantment and start looking at their own husbands with a more critical eye.

We as women have the power to change this. We can first turn to God and pour out our hearts regarding this situation. We need to pray that God would change us and make us a channel of His love. We have to be willing to change. We also need to ask God to grant us courage to stand up to the current line of thought and say, "We love men. Stop attacking them." No talk show host will convince me that all men are no good. We need to lay down our swords if our children are to have any hope of being fathered.

One of the lessons God showed me was how important it is for women to find their own sense of self-worth apart from a marriage. His grace for a wife flows through her realization that no one can "make" her happy. Her happiness is a result of the peace that comes from her relationship with God through Jesus Christ. It is this happiness that will bless all of her relationships, from her husband to her children. If it is one thing I have noticed about radical feminists, it is their complete lack of peace. The fruit of love is peace.

To embrace all of this is not easy. Sacrifices need to be made. But aren't our children worth it? And what is amazing is this: after the sacrifice is made, the glory is given. After Jesus Christ made the ultimate sacrifice, He was given a glory that far outweighed the agony. There is something magnificent on the other side of death, and I believe that women, when they really consider it, will rise to the challenge. When they do, watch out. The world will indeed be a better place for it.

Catholicism and Feminism

Since Gov. Sarah Palin has exploded onto the scene, I've been watching with great interest the response by feminists. Not surprisingly, they loathe her. As I've sifted through possible reasons why this is, I've been reminded of how Catholicism has shaped my identity as a woman.

When I was a young girl, one of the first lessons I remember learning at the feet of the good sisters was personal responsibility. I was responsible for my own choices, which led to the state of my mortal soul. No matter how "popular" a certain behavior may have been from other children my age, I had to examine it through the lens of Catholic doctrine - that I was created by God to honor and praise Him, receive His Son and His sacrifice, to honor His mother, and through the power of the Holy Spirit, lead the life of a saint. High goals, indeed.

I learned independence from those years in Catholic schools. There is a toughness about Catholic schools - or at least it existed back then, that reminded me that whining never led to anything good. If I wanted to accomplish something, then by all means get on with it and quit waiting for someone else to do it for you.

This is why I had the reaction I had when I discovered feminism. There was a deep inner core within that balked at the idea of having the government do anything for me. Why would I need them? It was my life and if I couldn't accomplish something on my own, then I had only myself to blame. In my eyes, it was akin to finding love. Who wants someone to love them because the other person felt "obligated" to do so? Where is the joy in that? There is none because we all understand what free will means and to me, feminism was never about freedom but control.

I have a very low threshold for controlling personalities. As soon as some famous feminist steps up to a mic on television and tells me why I "need" the feminist movement, I'm looking for the nearest sneaker to throw at the screen. Any good nun worth her salt in the fifties would have told that woman that we as Catholics don't "need" anyone except God. Those types of nuns taught me the meaning of suffering, self-sacrifice, love, grace, forgiveness, and a rock-solid aversion toward whining. If there is one thing that drives me crazy, it's the constant stream of whining I hear from radical feminism. That's what it sounds like to me. One big "How Dare You!" whinefest.

This is why I feel there has been a visceral response to Gov. Sarah Palin. I could almost hear the chorus of many other independently-thinking women out there shouting, "Finally! A woman like me! A woman who understands she doesn't need some rabble-rousing bitter group of women to make her life easier!" Even though Gov. Sarah Palin left the Catholic church, I suspect the seeds that were planted within her have now borne the audacious fruit we are all witnessing. She didn't need legislation in order for her to walk into that school and take charge of the PTA. She's a natural leader - but a leader with a difference. She's not carrying that huge 5-ton chip on her shoulder that says she lives in an unfair world and needs a pack of barking dogs to keep the mean men at bay.

Most of my girlfriends are Sarah Palin types. They raise their children and brook no arguments from them. The Catholic women are a special breed and I hold our Blessed Virgin Mary responsible. How can a Catholic woman not look to Mary and treat her as the perfect role model? And what did Mary do? She listened. She trusted. She obeyed.

And this is where Catholic women run into trouble with the feminists. Their trust isn't in the government, it's in God. As Christians, we are are exhorted constantly to trust in God. We have the stories of the saints who did trust in God and God accomplished wondrous things through their lives. That's the kind of trust we want to have, not in some shrill harpie demanding that we shelve religion because Government with the Big G is going to save us all.

Gov. Sarah Palin knows this is not true and it is absolutely driving the feminists wild. She isn't playing their game - never has and hopefully never will. They are almost foaming at the mouth over her supposed "betrayal" of them, and make no mistake about it - they are about as livid as a scalded cat that she isn't playing for their team.

One of the more amusing criticisms I've read about Palin is that she was too comfortable with the political speech, that for all her words about not being an "insider," she sure was acting like one. I had to laugh. Gov. Sarah Palin has managed to do something that is extraordinary as it is rare. She gave a speech that was wickedly smart in its political prowess but yet did so in such a real way that everyone could imagine having a beer with her while doing it. She connected with the average person who has felt disconnected from the government for many years and this terrifies her opposition. So of course they have to throw everything at her including the kitchen sink.

I keep coming back to the concept of suffering. Catholicism is the only religion I know that not only makes room to understand suffering in our lives, but seeks to embrace it. This is a quandary for feminism. They see suffering as something to be avoided at all costs and if it can't be bullied into submission, then let the judges change the scenery. Suffering needs to end, in their eyes, because it has no purpose in their self-centered world.

But in a Catholic woman's world, suffering has a far greater purpose. It purifies her. Cleanses her. Strengthens her so in the end, together with God she emerges a more compassionate person because of it. A woman usually has that "giving gene" that opens wide to share herself with her family and the world, but a woman who has submitted to God, including suffering, is indeed a force to be reckoned with. Feminism doesn't know what to do with such women. These steely women infuriate feminists because they see before them what a real woman should look like, and the hard-core feminists aren't anywhere near looking like that.

The feminists see a strong woman, a smart woman, a loving woman who doesn't repel men, a woman who understands what being a woman is all about and doesn't see it as being a handicap; and they simply are stunned. They see all of their goals achieved but not by the path they espouse. Either they can't understand or they refuse to accept that true independence for women isn't something that comes from without, but from within. It isn't a matter of banging on City Hall's door, demanding to be recognized and served. It's a matter of closing the door to the world, surrendering to something bigger than self, and asking for grace.

The feminists will be trying to throw much at Gov. Sarah Palin. In their efforts, they are exposing themselves to be the ugly hateful women that most other women avoid. As I told my father years ago when I woke up from the nightmare of following feminism - I have yet to meet a happy radical feminist.

I still stand by that comment today. And if anything, I think it was easy to see that overall - Gov. Sarah Palin is a happy woman. And I couldn't be more happy myself to see it.

The Deception of Soap Operas

I grew up with a mother who would watch "soap operas" while she did her daily tasks around the house. She'd flip the TV to whichever station had her show and blare it throughout the house while she cleaned, did laundry, and prepared meals. During the summertime, I'd help and eventually started watching soap operas, myself.

Soap operas are, for most women, a guilty pleasure. On the surface, the characters on a soap opera seem to live in a perfect world. For the most part, everyone is thin, beautiful, and have gorgeous clothes. They look so sleek, so smooth, so totally amazing. But as any die-hard fan can tell you, looks go only so far. Beneath the surface lies an ugly world of deceit, manipulation, selfishness, foolishness, and at times - pure evil.

And yet women (and a few men) lap it up, day after day.

Why? When I was in high school, I declared to my mother I was no longer watching soaps because I thought they were stupid. My exact quote: "Mom, soap operas never allow anyone to be happy! As soon as a couple finally finds love, something bad has to happen to tear them apart. It's ridiculous! I'm done!"

For the most part, I was done. I didn't watch soaps in college and then I started working in "the real world" where I was gone during the day and had no VCR to record the shows. I easily forgot there were such things as soap operas.

Today my working schedule is more flexible and I'm often home during lunchtime. One day, while munching a sandwich, I turned on the TV to find...yes, a soap opera. I absentmindedly started watching it, trying to deny I'd probably be sucked in. The next day I did it again, and again, and again. I was embarrassed one day because my husband came home early from work and caught me. I quickly made the excuse that I was just eating lunch and just happened to watch TV and the program just happened to be on. I don't think he bought it.

The soap opera was "The Young and the Restless." It wasn't a show I had ever watched before so it took some time to learn about the characters. Still, I caught on quickly who the players were and started to observe them as though I was an anthropologist who just stumbled on a rare find. I remembered what I said when I was younger and wondered how long the show would go before it would ruin someone's love life.

It didn't take long. Within a few months, they took a promising young couple and used, of all things, the overused ploy of a woman acting as though she was pregnant so she could steal away someone else's fiancee.

I was amazed. On one hand, I figured since I had been away from soaps for about 25 years, the writing would get more sophisticated. Not even close. The writers, in fact, were playing the same tricks they had when I was younger. Bring a couple together, then have the man "accidentally" sleep with another woman so she could break the couple apart. Yawn.

What occurred to me was how soap operas can ruin a single woman's real chances for love if she's not careful. I have no idea how many young single women are tuning in, but if the story lines are an indicator, it would seem the soaps are trying to reach them. Several main characters are in their twenties. But their constant swapping of love interests gets frustrating and confusing. You have to wonder if the characters have any lick of sense at all or simply the slaves of their own desire.

Which brings me to why I think they're detrimental to a person: Soap operas present on the surface a life most would like to live - financially well-off, beautiful, successful. But then the soaps give that lifestyle a nice knife in the back by constantly creating turmoil and anguish. For some fans who lead a very different kind of life, it may give them a sick sort of satisfaction to see that even rich, beautiful people suffer, too. But deep inside, what is the message?

I believe the message is you can't trust success. You can't trust happiness because sooner or later, some tramp is going to stalk you and your beloved and ruin everything. Is it any wonder why some people who love soaps also thrive on drama in their own lives? It's a set-up. It's difficult to find contentment in your own life if you can't trust that something good is not only going to come to you but stay with you.

So, I've sworn off soaps again, this time I hope for good. Even though it was almost an hour of my day, it added nothing to my life. It isn't entertaining to me to watch people suffer. It is why I watched "Melrose Place" years ago and then stopped after a few episodes. (A night-time soap opera...blech.) It is also why I stopped watching "Desperate Housewives" after the first season. TV writers succeed by making characters miserable. Hollywood reasons that no one would want to watch a show where everyone was happy most of the time. Why, that's boring!

So, do I want to fill my life with fictional characters who are unhappy and dealing with constant conflict? No thanks. I think I'll fill it instead with studying the great saints of old and how they overcame trials and tribulations by pursuing God with every molecule of their being.

Now that's far more interesting than some soap opera.

What I Love About Catholicism: Catholic Women

I didn't realize how much I missed Catholic women until I returned to the Catholic church.

How to put this into words... Bear with me because what I'm about to say may seem overly sentimental. Maybe it is. But time has a way of changing your perspective and now that I've been "around the block" a few times, I can see there is a distinct air about a Catholic woman that I've not seen within other Christian denominations.

Catholic women are real. They're full of grit and full of grace. "Grit" is one of my favorite words. I'll tell you what my definition is so you know what I mean when I say it.

The Mary Rose Dictionary:

Grit - noun: not caring about what others think of a position or idea; able to stand strong in the midst of life's trials and say, "God, give me the grace to bear what You have given to me." Identifying immorality or unethical behavior in society; understanding sin and its consequences and not being afraid to name it.

That's a start. Catholic women demonstrate a beautiful blend of common sense, sacrifice, wisdom, and strength. A good Catholic woman is not a whiner or a complainer. It isn't part of her vocabulary. She is persevering, especially when it comes to protecting her family and instilling in them Christian values. She makes sure her daughters are dressed modestly and her sons treat women with respect. She teaches both of them to pray for good marriages and not use the opposite sex as a plaything.

Catholic women understand sex. Do you know that from all the churches I attended, none talked about sex and how it is a gift from God? None talked about the sexual act as a beautiful mystery, reflected in Christ's relationship with the Church. I never heard sex being honestly discussed in the non-denominational church I attended.

I remember hearing quite a lot about sex during my Catholic schooling. I specifically remember a Catholic couple who shared with our youth group the joys of marriage. It made a deep impression on me.

Catholic women don't shy away from such topics but embrace them with enthusiasm that is reflective of their desire to understand God. Catholic women know there is a difference between self-serving pleasure and an honoring of the purpose of marriage. They are secure in knowing that as long as they pursue God in this area, they will be blessed.

There is something about the Catholic faith that purifies a woman. Catholicism talks about such things as sacrifice and suffering. This is the language of woman. They understand because it is in our nature to experience these two things. When a woman is called into marriage, she is required to sacrifice her own preferences in order to place her husband ahead of herself. That's submission. Catholicism instills submission automatically by its hierarchical structure. I realize there are dissenters but many times, dissension is the result of people who simply don't want to obey anything or anyone other than themselves.

I think Catholic women instinctively know that submission is required of them. A good Catholic woman not only accepts this, but rejoices in it. It is this joy that shines forth from them, and those who meet them realize something is different. It is because they're seeing the rare occurrence of a woman who is not fighting against God. That is powerful. There are lots of women fighting against God right now but many Catholic women stand apart.

There is a certain kind of undisciplined emotion that runs through some non-denominational churches. I think it's because there is no foundational teaching about suffering. When a woman runs up against a hard situation without any spiritual formation that explains hard situations are the norm for a Christian, she says things such as "The devil is really attacking me today!" Or "I must have a lack of faith because things aren't going well for me."

Jesus said that if the world hated Him, it would hate us:

"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."
John 15:18, 19 (RSV)

So the trials we go through are really nothing compared to what Jesus Christ went through. Catholic women know this like the back of their hand. Catholic women know that suffering is a part of life. I also think that revering Mary, Mother of our church, is a large factor. When you look at the life of Mary, you see how much suffering she experienced, the doubt and anxiety that plagued her. But through it all, she trusted God.

There is such strength in Catholic women, and to me - it's because they understand that they are weak. As our Blessed Virgin Mary said to the angel, "Let it be done to me according to your word." And good Catholic women everywhere echo her words.

My New Facebook Group: Castitas

The idea for this group has been developing within me for the past seven years. To be honest, I don't know if this is God's timing for it or if I'm still in a hurry to get something done. I'm pretty impatient, which is why I believe God taught me patience by waiting until I was 39 before allowing me to meet my husband. (!)

Today, I kicked off this new group on Facebook.

At any rate, I do think returning to the Catholic church was a key factor in order for things to fall into place. I do believe this ministry is to primarily be for Catholic single women between the ages of 18-35, although other Christian women within that age range may be interested.

I have been deeply touched by the amount of Catholic materials and resources for living a life of chastity. I believe we are witnesses to a wonderful turn of events in our society; which is - women who are beginning to recognize their calling in the world. As women, we are called to many things. For the married woman, she is called to a life of loving submission to her God and her husband. For the single woman, she is called to a life of loving submission to God alone.

There are many factors which contribute to such a submission. Submission can be seen in either two ways: as something to curse or something to praise. Our God has so much to give us as we embrace His commandments and seek to obey. Of course it isn't easy, but as I've often said - since when is finding treasure ever easy? If something was easy, we would not cherish it as much.

Which brings me to the topic of single women. I believe many single women have given themselves away too easily. Self-respect has plummeted, most recently seen in an awful "pact" that a group of high-school girls made with one another to get pregnant. Is their life so empty that they deliberately chose to have a baby outside of marriage in order to find fulfillment? There are many questions surrounding such an event. Needless to say, it broke my heart.

Women have such great influence in the world. This is not the raw political power that feminists pursue, but the kind of power that shapes and influences others. The kind of "power" that gives, not takes. It is this type of influence I would like to emphasize and examine with single Catholic women. Once a single woman understands her gifts and what is required of her by God, she is then in a most advantageous position to fully influence others as God has intended.

I have already met such beautiful women both within my parish and over the years in other churches. These women "get it" when it comes to understanding who they are in Christ. We have indeed been "fearfully and wonderfully made." I am hoping that as I facilitate the group, young single women will realize how precious they are in the sight of God and how He loves them so very much.

Understand God's love for you and you will change the world for Him. Glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

A Big Thank-You to Kimberly!

Kimberly beat me to it by commenting on my last post before I had a chance to post this. Yesterday I enjoyed a simply wonderful outing with Kimberly and her family as they celebrated her grandmother's 85th birthday. Kimberly and her husband were kind enough to invite those of us who attend the Latin Mass at our parish. Because I'm still new, I especially appreciated this gracious invitation to get acquainted with my fellow parishioners.

There is something special about those who have fallen in love with the Latin Mass. There is a sense of awe, an almost unbelieving attitude that we actually like it, and a joy in realizing that the Mass is filled with mystery and holiness.

I also was reminded how Catholics just love to have fun!

There is a realness with Catholicism that I'm not sure some of them realize. Relax, have a beer, let's talk theology. There is no self-consciousness when Catholics do this. It's very natural and there doesn't seem to be the intense attempts to prove how "holy" one is by exclaiming "Praise the Lord!" after every other sentence. (Note: I have nothing against the phrase "Praise the Lord." I only have a problem when it doesn't seem genuine.)

It was so wonderful to get to know these folks better. Kimberly and her husband have a nine children. (Yep! Is that awesome, or what?!!) They live on a big, rambling farm filled with lots of open space and fresh air. A perfect place to raise a family. They are both hugely generous and filled with laughter and optimism. It was a joy to meet them.

I didn't snap a bunch of photographs because I thought it would be better if these folks had a chance to know me before finding out I'm a photo-fanatic who often takes carefully composed photographs of such objects of beauty like, potato salad, in order to create a scrapbook page. (Because no scrapbook page of a picnic can be complete with a photo of the potato salad...)

So. No photos this time. But next time, I'll have them.

Visit Kimberly's blog, Catholic Family Vignettes, which is filled with wonderful slices about her life. I especially liked the entry, The Simple Woman's Daybook. I was touched by how much beauty there is in the simple things of life. Good stuff.

By the way, Kimberly's sweet husband makes the most kickin' barbecue sauce I've tasted. Those BBQ-ed ribs rocked!

Thoughts on Women

As I sat in the Extraordinary Form Mass this morning, my thoughts turned toward a comment made by a member of the Catholic OnLine Forum. It was on a thread about ordaining women as priests. Although he didn't come right out and say he supported ordaining women, he made the comment about women having "more of an opportunity to serve." This perplexed me because (as I replied) women already are serving in many ways during the Mass.

Within the Novus Ordo Mass, women can be a Lector, an Extraordinary Minister of the Holy Eucharist, sing in the choir, and play an instrument if a band is available. At a Latin Mass, women can sing in the choir, also. But clearly, there are not the same opportunities within the Latin Mass.

To be honest, after all the years of being part of churches where women served in so many capacities - it is actually a relief to not feel pressured to serve within a Mass. I've been on the other side - where women did everything from taking up the collection to greeting and ushering to teaching children's Sunday School. It's exhausting. By the time a Sunday is over in some of these churches, the women who serve are more than ready to see the day end.

How often do these women simply rest in church and absorb what is being taught? Not often. There is always something to do.

After Mass, our parish has a "donuts and coffee" time for those who would like to mingle with others. I remember other churches calling this "fellowship time" and one non-denom church I know actually has a restaurant within its building, just for that purpose.

I spent almost an hour and a half talking with a beautiful young woman about ministry. She is the mother of two very active young children and we spent the better part of our time walking through the halls to make sure she could keep an eye on their behavior. She is a devout woman and hungry for God. It was a blessing to meet her.

But with two very active children, I imagined this young mother didn't have much time to simply soak in the presence of God and focus on what He has done for us through His Son, Jesus Christ. The Tridentine Mass is the only place I've been where I feel women have the opportunity to rest and absorb. Silence is a part of Mass and although there are small children around, they are usually well-mannered.

Women do so much in our society. They can become nervous and edgy if they don't have a way to unwind. I just thought it was pretty wonderful that within the Latin Mass, they can often find a small slice of peace.